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I couldn’t lose them.

“It’s chaos in that house,” Susan said sadly from the witness stand. “Always so loud, and no home-cooked meals. Wes and Hadley work all the time. My husband and I have time to take care of our grandchildren. And we’re their family.”

I tightened my death grip on Wes’s hand, not letting my feelings show on my face. Inside, though, I was raging. Susan Whitmer was shameless, putting on a pathetic performance in an effort to overturn her own son and daughter-in-law’s will.

“So it’s a lack of stability you’re concerned about?” Patrick and Susan’s lawyer was asking all the right questions to paint Wes and I in a negative light. I wanted to punch him in the face.

“Yes, exactly. Wes and Hadley are just living in Ben and Lauren’s house, with no plan for which of them is going to raise the children. Patrick and I don’t know which of them will be taking the kids, or where they’ll be taking them, or when they’ll be doing it. We think the children need to be settled into their new normal as soon as possible.”

I wanted to throw something at her, and from the tight set of Wes’s jaw, I was pretty sure he felt the same way. She was being completely unfair. Three months isn’t that much time when you’re grieving and working and caring for children.

“And should you be granted temporary custody today, will you be taking the children back to your home in California?” Susan’s attorney asked her.

“No, we’ll stay in St. Louis for now, preferably at Ben and Lauren’s home. We want to keep Annalise at her current preschool.”

The whole hearing was an absolute nightmare. The effort Wes and I had made to create stability for the kids had been painted as self-serving by the Whitmers’ attorney, suggesting that the reason we hadn’t decided who would raise the kids was that neither of us wanted the responsibility. He’d shown the judge Wes’s travel schedule, saying he could never be a full-time parent. Our attorney was flat-footed and unprepared, not countering any of the arguments made about me and Wes. He just kept saying Ben and Lauren’s will should be upheld.

“This is a tough situation,” the judge said after the closing arguments. “My heart goes out to all of you, due to the loss of your loved ones and your mutual concern for these children. And while this isn’t an easy decision, I’m going to grant the petitioners’ request for temporary custody. Mr. Kirby and Miss Ellis, your friends left you with a very difficult choice. You’re going to have to make it, though. I want to reconvene in two weeks and see where we are then. Both of you, please take this time away from the children and each other to reflect on what would truly be best for them.”

I turned to Wes, tears streaming down my cheeks. I was devastated and shocked. The smug expression on Susan Whitmer’s face made my insides boil on Ben and Lauren’s behalf.

Wes kept ahold of my hand as we walked out of the courtroom with our attorney.

“We’ll be ready in two weeks,” our attorney said, seeming to take the ruling in stride. “You guys make a decision about which of you will be the kids’ guardian, and you’ll get them back.”

“But…two weeks,” I managed to get out. “The kids haven’t been away from us for more than a few hours at a time since their parents died.”

“The grandparents have spent time with them, though. Listen, just take your two weeks and get this decision made. Everything will work out.”

Wes spoke up, his eyes dark and his tone firm. “Yeah, we’ll be bringing in at least one more attorney on this case, and I expect your full cooperation with anyone else I hire.”

“Mr. Kirby, I have extensive experience in these—”

“Your extensive experience didn’t do shit for us back there, did it? I’m not taking any chances with the next hearing. I’ll hire a dozen attorneys if I have to, and you’d better make helping them your full-time job.”

Wes rubbed a hand over his jaw and tugged gently on my hand. “Let’s get out of here; I can’t lay eyes on Patrick and Susan right now.”

We walked out of the courthouse in silence, and I was numb to everything around me. I didn’t even remember where Wes had parked. I just let him lead me as I thought about the judge’s words. Two weeks away from the kids. And Wes and I had to choose which of us would get them.

“What are we going to do?” I asked him, my heart hammering wildly.

He just exhaled deeply, shook his head and said nothing. It looked like he was feeling the same way I was—backed against a wall with a clock ticking, facing the most gut-wrenching situation life had ever handed me.

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