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“I’ve helped build Willow into what it is!” she snapped. “I own stock in the company. That’s like me telling you it makes no difference what team you play for as long as you’re playing hockey.”
“It was just a suggestion, Hadley. I thought you and I—hold that thought.” I cut myself off and shook my head because the buzzer sounded, indicating our dinner had arrived. I got up, signed the check, and grabbed the bag of food. I put it on the counter before going back into the living room.
Hadley got up and walked toward me, a look on her face I’d never seen before. “I think it’s best if I head back to New York in the morning.”
“You’re going to just cut and run?” I demanded, staring at her.
“I’m not running. I’m just doing what’s best for everyone. The deal was that we’d figure out who was better suited to have custody and that’s obviously you. You have the money and the extended family to help, and I don’t. Even if I had Ben and Lauren’s money, I’d burn through all of it buying a comparable house in New York, private schools, full-time nannies, and so on. And I’d barely see them to boot. At least you’re around when you’re not on the road, and you’re off anywhere from three to five months in the summer, depending on whether you make the playoffs. So this is the mature, responsible thing to do. For the kids.”
“And what about the right thing to do for us?” I asked.
She shook her head. “There isn’t an us. Us was just a convenient fantasy while we were playing house. We bonded because of the kids, but we’ve never even liked each other. Nothing has really changed.”
That one cut deep and I couldn’t believe she’d said it. “How can you say that?”
“Even after all we’ve been through, you have no respect for who I am professionally and as an independent woman. The first words out of your mouth were for me to quit, as if I somehow need a man to ride in and take care of me, and that right there shows me that this thing between us would never work.”
Ah, there she was. The Hadley of the past. The one who busted my balls about every damn thing even though she was full of shit. Because this thing between us wasn’t just good, it was damn good, and she was throwing it—and me—away like I’d meant nothing to her.
I’m sorry, Ben, I thought to myself as I watched her turn her back and walk toward the kitchen. I tried to make it work. I really did, buddy.
This time, I wasn’t taking any of the blame for what happened between us. This time, it was all on her. And it fucking gutted me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Hadley
I was finally back in the office at Willow, which was located in a suite of offices on the fourth floor of a downtown high-rise. My lips turned up in a small smile as I walked down the hallway to the break room and saw my reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall.
No makeup. Messy bun. Fuck you, Liz.
It was my first day back at work, and this was the last place I wanted to be. Since leaving St. Louis to come home, everything felt heavy and quiet. Since I had to end my lease on my studio apartment when I moved to St. Louis, I was staying in a hotel for now, and there was silence all the time. No baby coos or toddler belly laughs. No goofy questions from Annalise and no middle of the night wake-up cries from Benny.
And no Wes to hold me when I cried about all of it. Of all the days I should have chosen to put on some makeup, today called for it. There were dark circles lining my puffy eyes and I looked pale. I was emotionally spent, though, and I wasn’t going to put on lipstick or mascara and doll myself up to give Liz the impression she’d won.
“Hadley!” my colleague Rona West said as I walked into the employee break room. “It’s so good to see you.”
I hugged her, squeezing my eyes closed and trying to imagine it was Wes. She was much smaller than him, though, and he didn’t wear perfume laced with lemon notes.
“How are the kids?” she asked me.
“They’re good.”
I used my tone, and my lack of eye contact, to send her the message that I wasn’t in a good place to talk about the kids. I was pretty sure I’d lose my shit and burst into tears if I did.
“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help out, just let me know,” she said softly. “Really, Hadley. My wife is traveling for work this week and the house is too quiet, so I’ll be working a lot. If you need to get anything off your plate, just slide it onto mine.”
