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He grimaced. “He knows what he wants. He doesn’t need you to worry about that. He can worry about it himself. And if he’s made it this far, he wants you. Not sure why but…”
I punched him in the kidney. “You’re not funny.”
“I’m fuckin’ hilarious,” Dad disagreed. “Now get your head out of whatever fucked up place it’s at and let’s get you walked down the aisle. The sooner I can get out of this getup, the better.”
I pulled back and straightened my top, glad for the invention of double-sided tape.
Just as I was about to agree with him, my mother hustled into the room with a look of determination on her face.
“You, get to your spot.” My mother pointed at Harlow who was busy playing Candy Crush on her phone. “They’re starting. You, are you walking down the aisle with your sister or something? Or should you already be at your seat?”
My mother was speaking to my brother who had a fan pressed against his crotch.
“My kid puked on my lap,” he said. “I’m trying to dry it. Give me a fuckin’ break.”
“Don’t speak to your mother like that,” Amelia, holding her son with him faced away from her and toward the rest of the room, said. “I told you not to bounce him like that. He’d just gotten done eating. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?”
“Boys and girls,” my mother snapped. “This is Catori’s special day. I don’t want y’all ruining it. Now, go get seated. It’s time to start.”
I could hear the music announcing the start of the wedding party and knew she was right.
But there I was, still leaning against my dad, waiting.
I wasn’t waiting for long, though.
Because, like the impatient being that he was, my husband didn’t wait for long.
He yanked open the door, spotted me, and then stalked toward me.
“You will not get out of this now,” he growled.
Then, without a word to anybody in the room, he picked me up bridal style and carried me directly down the length of the church to where we would both be giving our vows.
“Laric,” I said. “You were supposed to let the flower girls and Harlow go first.” I giggled.
Laric looked down at me. “They’d already played that song three times. I thought you were having cold feet.”
I shook my head. “I’ve never been surer of anyone in my life than I am of you.”
“You gonna put her down, son?” Lynn asked curiously.
I looked over to see Lynn standing in as best man beside us.
Harlow, who was rushing down the aisle, came to stand directly in front of him but to the side.
“Yes,” Laric said. “When we’re done saying our vows.”
I snickered. “Laric…”
“Get on with it,” Laric ordered the preacher.
The preacher, a man I’d just met today, opened his mouth and closed it, as if he wasn’t too sure what to do.
I winked at him. “It’s okay. Just start. He may eventually put me down.”
The preacher stuttered over the first few lines.
It was when we got to the part where we had to exchange rings that I said, “Laric, you’re gonna have to put me down.”
He growled and suddenly I found myself on my feet.
Just as I was standing to my full height, he reached forward and tugged the front of my dress up, pulling it way past where it should really be sitting.
I waited until he was done before I said, “You done?”
He grunted something that sounded like, “I guess.”
I rolled my eyes and turned to Harlow who was holding out Laric’s ring.
Before I could even turn fully around, Laric was shoving my wedding band into place and saying, “Fuck yeah, I do.”
I placed my hand over my mouth and started to giggle.
I wasn’t sure if it was Laric’s abruptness, or his cursing in front of a man of God.
Whatever it was, I was unable to hold the giggles in at all.
“Woman,” Laric growled after this went on for a good long minute and a half. “Put the damn ring on me so we can be married already.”
I did this through laughter and a small amount of tears.
“I do, too.”
“In that case, by the power vested in me…” the preacher started.
I was once again in Laric’s arms, and he was carrying me straight out of the church and to his motorcycle.
Just as he had me situated, and he was in front of me, the preacher breached the door. “You may kiss the bride!”
And boy, did Laric kiss me.
Best. Wedding. Ever.
EPILOGUE II
Why do ants never get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
-Text from Catori to Laric
CATORI
Eleven months later
“I swear to God,” I said to the man standing in front of me. “It’s coming. I swear to God. You don’t have a choice.”
“I do have a choice,” Zach disagreed. “I won’t do it!”
I yanked my pants off and felt between my legs, and yep, sure enough, I could feel the head.
