AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The up and down, I want to kill you but also, I care more than you know and would love to fuck your brains out was a natural part of our relationship. Being at odds was the last thing I wanted.
“Judas, I’m...”
“Careful, I may change my mind. Dead pussy is still pussy, and you can be fucked just the same.”
“Well. I--.”
What the hell did that even mean? How would he know that? My mouth opened and closed before I decided to shut the fuck up so that I could think.
“I get you’re going through something, but it would be in your best interest to remember that I’m not your enemy, bella. I never want to be. That would destroy me.”
I chewed the inside of my lip, suppressing a shaky breath. The sincerity wrapping his words was almost painful. I peeked at him through my lashes, studying his profile. Who was he? I knew the basics, what anyone would figure out if they were seeing the same parts of him that I got to see.
Judas wasn’t some run of the mill, prep school douche. He viewed things differently and his mind wasn’t wired like typical high-school boys. This is what made us an ideal duo because I was atypical. At least I’d always thought so. My track record didn’t look too good in that department lately, things I thought versus the truth.
During times like these, I felt miles out of my league.
Judas and I buried a body together. How many times had he done that before? He made my ex disappear. Maybe someone else too. What kind of connections did you need to pull that off?
The actions didn’t bother me. His secrecy did. The void I felt like I was staring into with no clear bottom in sight, worried me. To be with him as more than whatever we already were would mean diving into that darkness. I didn’t know if I could truly handle where it would lead me.
Being all the way real, trying to imagine a future Judas was downright terrifying, and not much scared me. Who would he be as a man? He was already immorally savage, dripping in sin. What level of depravity did he plan to reach? How far would I have to go for him to grow to love me like I loved him? I didn’t have a guarantee he could, only foolish hope.
There were so many variables and unknowns. I didn’t know how he could be so sure and me this uncertain. Judas was one whole half of my twisted heart. Perhaps that was the problem. I still didn’t know why the hell he chose me.
What if we crashed and burned because of the very spark that brought us together? If I lost him or he lost me after the dust settled, what then?
CHAPTER EIGHT
He drove past my usual drop-off spot and parked way on the other side of the parking lot. I looked around and saw there was close to no one else out there.
“We’re cutting it close on time. Why did you park in the back?”
“Think.” He killed the engine and hit the button to reverse the driver’s seat.
I curled my lip and slightly raised my brows, looking him up and down. “I know you don’t think I’m fucking you right now.”
He full-blown laughed. The genial sound rare and beautiful coming from him.
“Calm down, I didn’t bring you back here for that.”
“Oh…” I softened and relaxed into my seat.
“But if you want to wrap those beautiful lips around my dick, I have no objections.”
“Hell no! You don’t deserve the perks and after that dead pussy comment I’m concerned I let you fuck me raw.”
He tilted his head and looked at me with amusement swathing his usual obscure expression. “I fucked a total of three people before we happened. All were very much alive. And I have never touched anyone without a condom, until you.”
That’s it? I’d never asked because it wasn’t something I felt the need to know. If Judas was faithful, then what good would knowing the details of his past escapades be? That was just another thing to torture myself over.
He had never asked me about Dax either. There were just some things your person didn’t need to know. Still, I expected his bedpost notches to be much higher. He certainly knew what he was doing as if they were.
He turned his head away and relaxed, staring straight ahead through the windshield. There wasn’t anything out there but fluffy green grass and trees.
This was unlike him.
He should’ve been dragging me through the parking lot by now.
I unclipped my seatbelt and leaned closer, breathing in his cologne’s comforting fragrance as I laid a hand on his solid arm to get his attention.
“Judas, what’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer me right away. His amusement had faded and left behind a blank stare. He turned his head and looked at me, staring straight into my eyes.
