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After I closed the door, I turned to see Kate standing in the entry watching me.
She had this faraway look in her eyes that I couldn’t quite place.
I went over to her and pulled her into my arms. “What’s that look, Mrs. Morgan? Penny for your thoughts?”
She said nothing. Instead, she slipped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder. She squeezed me and I held her even more tightly. I could tell she was very emotional and her soft heart made me melt.
Finally, she spoke, her voice soft.
“Sometimes, I have to stop and pinch myself to know I’m awake and not just dreaming.”
I smiled and lifted her chin, kissing her warmly.
“I know the feeling,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “Let’s go to bed,” I said and rocked her in my arms. “We still have a lot to do tomorrow to get ready.”
“Okay,” Kate said and smiled. “Are you too tired?” she added. “I’m wide awake and a little keyed up…”
That sent a jolt of lust through my body for I knew what it meant.
“Keyed up are you, Ms. Bennet?" I said, my mind going to the lamb's-wool cuffs I bought her for Christmas. "Need an outlet?"
She nodded but said nothing else. She was leaving things to me, the way she used to before all this happened – before she became pregnant, before the attack that almost took her life and before new parenthood took away most of her energy, as was necessary.
I kissed the top of her head, signaling to her that I wanted to take control. Even though I knew it was what she wanted, she left it up to me to make the move.
"I want you to take off your clothes and lie naked on the bed for me, arms and legs spread."
I watched her vain attempt to hide her smile as she slipped out of my arms, obedient. I went to the closet in our bedroom and removed the wrist and ankle restraints and crossed over to the bed, climbing up and over top of her with them in my hand.
She blinked when she saw them and I knew what she was wondering – where is the blindfold?
"I don't want to cover your eyes," I said, my voice thick with growing desire. "I want to watch you respond to me."
She licked her lips and I knew she was beginning to respond to the idea I was planting in her mind and the response I was hoping to elicit in her body. I didn't need the restraints. She was going nowhere and she would do anything I asked of her. I knew that completely.
She still needed them to feel controlled, which she still enjoyed. She enjoyed feeling my power, even if she knew I'd never use it to harm her.
I carefully attached the cuffs to her wrists and ankles, then to the bed frame. She tested them to assure herself that they were in fact secure. When she finally turned back to look me in the eyes, I saw desire in them. She shivered, for the room was cool, her breasts all goosebumps, her nipples hardening. I smiled and after kissing her deeply, my mouth claiming hers, I began licking my way down her body. I started at her chin and didn't stop until I had her breasts in my hands, squeezing them together so I could move from one hard nipple to the other. She groaned and thrust her body up against me.
"Lie still," I commanded, and she relaxed, although her breathing had quickened.
"Sorry," she whispered.
"Sorry, what?" I asked, my voice firm.
She glanced at my face. "Sorry… Sir," she said, and I was just about to continue licking her nipples when I caught her lips quirk in the slightest smile.
I should have taken her at that moment and administered a spanking for her insolence, but I knew that her smile wasn't meant to be insolent. It was a sign of her pleasure that I was enforcing our old D/s rules. I realized at that moment that I would have to revive that part of our love life if I wanted her to be truly fulfilled.
"I can see I'm going to have to take you to a dungeon party, maybe display some rope technique so I can refresh your ability to obey."
"Sorry, Sir," she said quickly. "I'm out of practice."
"We're both out of practice," I murmured against her breast, my face pressed into its fullness for a moment.
It was at that moment, with Kate restrained and fully under my control, that I realized that I didn't need D/s anymore to be fulfilled sexually or emotionally. Whatever it was that made me need absolute control over my sexual partner before was small, almost so small that I barely felt it any longer. Almost losing Kate, almost losing Sophia, almost losing Ethan, finding out I had a son only to learn he could die – they brought it all into focus for the first time in my life.
I needed Kate.
