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"Later," Drake said and caught my eye in the mirror. "We'll have a nice bath and you'll be so relaxed, you'll let me do practically anything to you."
"I will," I said and smiled to myself. "You always have your way with me."
Finally, after a kiss that promised so much more later, we pulled apart and each of us smoothed our clothes before going back downstairs. I was so glad I agreed to have Karen come and do nanny duties, and a little bit of housework, so that Drake and I could enjoy Sophie or take time to be alone.
We took my father's limo service to Carnegie Hall. I wished we could listen to Dawn Upshaw perform Symphony No. 3 by Gorecki but she wasn't performing it anywhere close to where we lived and I had no intention of flying to London or wherever she was. Instead, we would enjoy an evening of Mozart, whose music I loved, and Ravel, whose music I liked.
We arrived a bit early and stood in the foyer waiting to take our place in my father's box seats, when I noticed a few people staring at us while we stood together and talked. Drake was busy telling me something about Sophie when he must have noticed the same thing I did. I felt as if the two of us were surrounded by people talking about us. He stopped talking and glanced around, then turned back to me, his brow furrowed.
"I can't believe it," he said, his voice low and with a definite edge to it.
"What?" I asked, not wanting to admit that I felt people staring at us.
"People are definitely staring at us. A woman over to my left actually pointed at us and spoke to the other people in her group."
I took a quick peek and saw one of the women watching us intently. I wondered who she was and why she seemed so angry. The expression on her face, with her hair all done up in a tight ponytail, makeup heavy, wearing a gold sequined dress and high heels. She looked wealthy, her face pulled back by the tight hairdo and maybe some plastic surgery.
"She's definitely staring at us," I said.
Drake leaned down and kissed me purposely, then he took my arm and pulled me towards the auditorium. "Let's go. I don't need this."
We left the foyer and went to our seats, sitting in the front of the box so we could look out over the entire stage. They were great seats and we settled in. I was thankful that the lights were low so that we weren't all that visible, but still, as I glanced around, I felt a few faces looking up at us in the box and I glanced quickly away. Luckily, Drake was busy reading the program and didn’t notice. I stared at him, feeling so bad that he had lost so much over the case – how he'd been forced off the board of the Foundation and the Corporation. How he'd given up his Fellowship to be with Sophie and me. How he'd taken a year's leave of absence from NYP…
He was no longer active in the BDSM community nor did he play with his band.
What was left for him but me and Sophie? The man who was so busy, his life so tightly scheduled with everything in such firm control was now changed. He was still as handsome, still as attentive, still as accomplished, but I felt like he was diminished. I wanted him to start playing with Mersey again, so at least he'd have his music and his friendships with the other band members to console him. I wanted him to finish his Fellowship as soon as possible, but would they invite him back after the case and all the publicity?
Would patients want him as their surgeon?
Worry about him and his future was a tiny black spot on an otherwise wonderful night – the first date we'd been on since before the accident. I wanted to enjoy every moment, but instead, I felt a touch of anxiety and sadness.
That wasn't fair to Drake, and so I took in a deep breath and put on a smile.
"What's the sigh about?" Drake said as he turned a page in the concert program. Then he turned to me, his blue eyes focused on me. "That sounded sad."
I raised my shoulder a bit, not wanting to reveal my real concerns. "It's strange being away from Sophie, I guess."
Drake took my hand and squeezed. "Karen is eminently qualified to sit in the living room while Sophie sleeps. In fact, she's probably the very best person we could have looking after her, other than a pediatric trauma surgeon, so relax."
I smiled and leaned back in my chair, squeezing his hand back. "I know. I will."
He leaned over and kissed me and then turned back to his program, reading over a paragraph about the conductor. I smiled again, and tried to enjoy my time out with Drake but as I looked at him – really looked at him – I felt some unaccountable fear. Fear that he'd be taken away from me. Fear that he'd feel cheated of his life, the life he had before I came along, and that he'd leave me – leave us – so he could be a neurosurgeon again. It was silly – Drake loved me and he loved Sophie. It was my postpartum PTSD brain, looking for something wrong when there was nothing.
By the time the performance started, I'd forgotten all about the rude woman who pointed at us. I sat back and enjoyed the performance, remembering back to the time I was here with Drake, when Dawn Upshaw was performing, and how I wanted him gone. Now, in contrast, I relished having him beside me, our hands clasped, his arm around my shoulder.
If I thought the evening was already perfect, other than the fact that people had been pointing and whispering about Drake while we waited in the lounge for the performance to begin, I was wrong. During intermission, Drake and I went to the bar for a drink. It was there, as we stood at a table and each drank a glass of wine, that Drake reached into his jacket pocket and removed a small package.
It was a gift from him for our anniversary. Small and square, wrapped in white tissue with a thin gold ribbon, the gift looked like a ring box.
"Drake, you shouldn’t have," I said with a frown, even as I took the box eagerly.
"I should have and I did. You're my life," he said and took my hand, squeezing it, his eyes burning into mine. "You and Sophie have made my life full and real for the first time in a long time. For forever. I've never had a relationship like this with anyone – not Maureen, not anyone. This small token is nothing compared to what you've given me."
My eyes filled with tears at the sound of his voice, so low and full of emotion, and the words he spoke.
"Oh, Drake…" I smiled through my tears and we leaned closer to each other and kissed once more.
"Open it," he said, his eyes wide, his expression eager.
