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DRAKE
Our return to San Francisco was melancholy.
Despite both of us keeping busy adjusting back into the familiar rhythm of life there, I think both Kate and I missed Manhattan more than we realized. I liked the California weather and Kate liked her studio in the downtown area but we both agreed that Liam was a priority. When he returned to Manhattan after the summer ended and he would go to live with Brenda in Manhattan, we would as well.
For our remaining time in California, I spent my most of my days and nights with Sophie and Kate since I no longer worked at UCSF, although I made time to pop in and see how my mother was doing. She never recognized me. I suspected that she thought I was Liam, her former husband, if she thought anything at all. It upset me, but I had to accept that there was nothing to be done about it.
I did see Kent and Amanda frequently at the nursing home and we invited both their families to our place for dinner, getting to meet their spouses and children and establish a relationship with them that I hoped would last for the rest of our lives. I would be sad to say goodbye to them when we left, but at the same time, I had to prioritize Liam. His needs for a stable home and to know his father were primary.
On her part, Kate spent more time at her new studio, and for a while, we kept busy but no matter how nice the weather or our view of the ocean, the house on the coast wasn't home. For the next two months, we spent our time alternating between Ethan and Elaine's for dinner, or dinner with my new siblings at the family house.
Our stay in California had been like an extended vacation – filled with excitement because everything was new and the weather was fantastic – but it wasn't home. Until we returned to Manhattan, I had pretty much free access to Liam and he spent a lot of time with us on the beach on the weekends. Brenda was only too happy to allow a sleepover or two and so Liam became used to being around us and was starting to feel more at home.
Of course, we also spent time with Ethan and Elaine. Kate helped Ethan work with realtors back in Manhattan to find the perfect place for he and Elaine to buy. It took some convincing to get Ethan to agree to sell the penthouse, but neither Kate nor Heath wanted it, and so in the end, Ethan decided to list the apartment and find a smaller, more accessible townhouse in Brooklyn. He didn’t want to be apart from Kate or Heath and our two families for more than a month or two at a time. Ethan and Elaine would take the winters off and spend January and February away but they would return for the warmer weather starting in late March so we could all be together as a big happy family.
Finally, the week came when Liam was finished with school. He and Brenda were flying to Malaysia for a week and then he'd fly back with Brenda to stay in Manhattan. Preparations were underway for our own move back to New York and we were busy boxing up our things so movers could come and take them away.
We had one last big dinner at Ethan's and Elaine's place, the night before our flights back to Manhattan. We arranged things so that we took our flights out of San Francisco at the same time as Brenda and Liam and would meet up with them for a quick visit before their flight.
I could feel that Kate was emotional all that day before we left, and several times, I had to take her in my arms and comfort her. Ethan and Elaine weren't returning for a few weeks due to the timing of their possession date for their new house in Brooklyn. Kate had been hoping that we would all leave at the same time but that hadn’t worked out so it would be a temporary goodbye to her father.
Kate hated goodbyes.
We stood in the middle of the living room, boxes of our possessions stacked around us, packing paper crumpled up, a tape dispenser at the ready.
"What are you so afraid of?" I asked, stroking her hair. "Ethan and Elaine will be following us in two weeks. They'll be fine until then. Elaine has everything in hand."
Kate nodded and tucked her face into my shoulder, her arms tightening around me.
"I know. It's just that you never know when it will be the last time you see someone."
"Ethan's fine," I said and rocked her in my arms. "He's healthy enough, all things considered. He's not weak so you don't have to worry."
"I'm trying," she said. "I always expect the worst."
"I understand," I replied and kissed her tenderly. "It's the PTSD. It'll get better with time."
She sighed and we stood like that for a few moments, enjoying the moment. Outside the window, I could see San Francisco bay. I'd miss the view but we could always come out for a visit.
We ended the embrace when sounds of Sophie grousing in her crib came over the baby monitor.
"She's awake," Kate said and slipped out of my arms. "I better get her."
I let go and watched as Kate went to Sophie's bedroom. Then, I returned to packing, slipping a few of our dishes into a box and stuffing paper around them. The movers were coming in the afternoon and the cleaners were coming the next morning to clean the place before our rental agent took back possession. We'd be staying at Ethan and Elaine's for the night and then would go directly to the airport to take our plane to Manhattan once we turned our keys over to our rental agent.
Kate returned with Sophie and we spent the rest of the morning finishing up our packing. Sophie played in the living room, where we'd boxed her off in the center of the room so she couldn't hurt herself. The movers came an hour late, and packed up the truck with our boxes and the few items we'd purchased for the house that we wanted to take with us. By the time five thirty came around, the packing was done and so we did one last check of the house and drove to Ethan and Elaine's for the night, our suitcases in the trunk.
After a last walk on the beach, during which time Kate took pictures of the surf and of Sophie and me walking along in the water, we went up to the house for dinner, which was a somber affair for Kate. I enjoyed Ethan as I usually did, appreciating his dry wit, but Kate was upset at having to say goodbye for even two weeks. At least she knew they'd be following us and arriving not long after. We'd be a big happy family once more when they returned to Manhattan and Liam arrived back from his visit with Chris a
nd his mother in Malaysia.
When we put Sophie down for the night, we spent an hour going over plans with Ethan and Elaine, and then all of us went to bed, because we had a busy day.
Kate finally crawled in beside me after brushing her teeth, cuddling up against me, her arm across my chest.
"I'm so sad," she said and gave me a pout. "I thought I'd be so happy to be leaving, but now I wish we had more time. I barely got to know your new family. Now, we'll only see them on holidays."
"We can always fly out for a weekend, if you want. Any time."
