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‘I want to be with you,’ he told her. ‘I want to share the rest of my life with you. Waking up to you. Going to bed with you. And everything in between.’
Her heart wanted to soar. She could feel it, pulling frantically at the tethers she’d used to ground it. To suppress it.
She didn’t know how she found the strength to curl her fingers around his hand and pull it away from her face.
And then to drop the contact.
‘I am pleased for you and your brother.’ Her voice was more clipped than she would have preferred, but that couldn’t be helped.
It was that or crumble completely.
‘More pleased than you can imagine. But I’m confused at what you’re saying. I have a posting as a doctor on a new ship, and you’re getting your own ship to captain.’
His eyes gleamed but he didn’t speak.
‘So I fail to see how the two things are compatible,’ she pressed on. ‘Or is that the point? Now that you are secure in the knowledge that our lives are back on different courses, you realised that you felt safe enough to say the things you were too afraid to acknowledge before?’
‘No. But I did realise something else.’
‘What’s that?’ Her tongue spoke all by itself. And they both knew he had her where he wanted her. She despaired of herself.
‘That was the moment I realised that I should walk away from you. And the moment I realised that I couldn’t. And it had nothing to do with being secure in the knowledge that our lives were on different courses. I told you, it was to do with the fact that I am in love with you.’
And she wanted to argue. Or, more to the point, she didn’t want to fall for words she’d been so desperate to hear. But she was finding it harder and harder to resist.
Then something else struck her.
‘What do you mean, our lives were on different courses?’
He smiled. The most genuine, open smile she’d ever seen him give. And the tethers on her heart ripped and failed at that moment.
‘I spoke to Head Office this morning.’
‘If you changed my job again...’
‘I never mentioned your job, Isla.’ He silenced her with a look. ‘I discussed my own career path alone. And I suggested that I might prefer to run one more cruise as First Officer before I take up a post as captain. But this time I want to run it aboard the Star of Hermione.’
‘That’s my ship,’ Isla gasped, her head spinning wildly, like a kid’s paper windmill in a beach breeze.
She fought to cling onto reality. It wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. She had to be hearing things. Conjuring up the words that part of her so desperately wanted to hear.
‘Yes, your ship,’ he echoed, as though reading her doubts.
And allaying them one by one, as if he really did care. As if he really did love her.
Her whole world was exploding—going up like the most spectacular New Year’s firework celebration. Almost too perfect to be true.
She shook her head, trying to think straight.
‘You would turn down captaincy of a ship, and move from a flagship vessel like the Cassiopeia, just to be on the same ship as me? Meeting up in the shadows like we did for those two weeks?’
And God help her if she couldn’t pretend to herself that they hadn’t been two almost perfect weeks.
‘You misunderstand.’ Nikhil cut across her thoughts. ‘I don’t want to hide in the shadows any more. I want this above board, if you’ll excuse the pun, and I want us to be a proper couple.’
‘A proper couple?’ she echoed in disbelief.
‘We would declare our relationship to Head Office and have them allocate us a cabin together. You are mine, just as I am yours. There will never be anybody else for me but you. And I no longer care who knows it.’
