AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Queen Anne’s Lace- This might seem like a strange one to include, because it basically means a safe haven, but it also seemed fitting. I want to build a home together physically one day, but also, metaphorically. I want you to be my rock and my special place. I want you to be the one I always turn to, no matter what. I also want to be that for you. Hands down. No if’s, ands, or buts. Well, maybe a few butts because they’re funny Sorry. Sewer humor hardly is fitting here but I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t want this letter to seem all woe and gloom and doom.
Sweat Peas- usually these were given to thank someone for a good time. Not that kind of good time. This language was created in the Victorian era. You’ve been so much more than that, but I do want to thank you, all the same, for taking the time to want to get to know me and for letting me get to know you. You’ve shared so much of yourself already. You opened your home to my crazy family, let my brothers and cousins abuse your pool, put up with my Granny’s quirks, and so much more, and you did it all joyfully. I have no words other than thank you.
Yarrow- this flower has been used for so many health benefits and cures over the centuries, and so it makes sense that this one would have been picked to symbolize the treatment for a shattered, thorny, sometimes broken, sometimes just wounded heart. I can tell you that mine was beyond wounded. Without even trying, you came into my life and all of a sudden, the pieces started to reassemble, to be sewn back together. I felt like this broken puppet doll, and isn’t that a creepy image, but now this broken, scary, haunting doll has a heart again and that’s mostly because of your kindness and your patience, your humor and compassion.
Bluebells, Ivy, and Dahlias- these flowers all basically mean faithfulness, and I can’t think of anything better. Really, I can’t. I know that based on the amount of melting down and freaking out and horrible texts and trying to push you away, that this is the last think you probably think, and I’m sorry. What I truly want is what my granny and grandpa had. A love that outlasts just about everything and anything. They were committed to each other. Always. I want to be that. Faithful. Committed. In it for the long-ass long haul. I might need some time to figure out how, but I know I could get there.
Dogwood- last, but probably most important (yes I’m all about saving the best for last) is dogwood. It’s kind of a random name for a flower, but I love what it means. It means that I hope that we can overcome all the trials ahead of us. That we’ll be strong in the face of difficulties. I know that there will be plenty coming our way, because that’s just life and life can be shocking, and rough, but it can also be cursed (in a good way), and wonderfully surprising (we do know all about that), and I’m just looking forward to seeing all the incredible things we can accomplish together.
There are probably a thousand more flowers that symbolize hope, or togetherness, love, matters of the heart, the future, virtue, and all those good things. (I didn’t put a rose in because that would be too obvious. I hope that’s not an oversight.) There are probably a thousand ways to tell you that I’m sorry, with so many flowers, but the bouquet was already bursting and the florist was getting touchy, so I wanted to focus on the positive. But I hope you do know. I am sorry. I’m sorry and I’m ready now. I can’t promise that there won’t be more meltdowns or more freak outs or that I’m not going to get weepy and hormonal, but I do promise to take a breath each time I’m afraid. I promise to use my fears to make myself strong, not tear myself, and us, down. My granny told me that a life unlived is basically a shit way to go about things. She said it much more eloquently, if you can believe that. Ha. I almost can’t. But she did. And I listened. And I believe her.
I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking for another chance.
If you’ll give me one, please pick me up whenever you’re free and take me back to your magical greenhouse. The asshole cactus is gone now, so it should be a much more pleasant experience, though I really did love the first time we went. Up until the dick punching episode.
With all my hope, my heart, my flawed emotions, and hopefully one day, with all my love.
