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“Are you kidding? Your granny is tough. She raised your brothers and your cousins. Kind of. With your moms too.”
“That she did.” Leandra can’t stop smiling. She looks beautiful in an emerald dress, her cursed sapphires winking in her ears. “Maybe she can hold her own for a few more minutes.”
“That’s the spirit. At least she’s not going to channel her inner my grandma and make them lead pancakes.”
“Don’t go there. There isn’t anything wrong with your grandma’s pancakes. I mean, much wrong. They’re fine. Really.”
“Yeah, if you like eating lead.”
“Okay, well at least your grandma doesn’t channel her inner my granny with all the curse business. Granny did tell us all at the last gathering a month ago that she was just kidding about the curse all this time. That what happened was just destiny, lust, and the power of suggestion. Then she told us she was kidding, of course our asses were all cursed, and cackled like a deviant for twenty minutes straight.”
“That she did. That she did.”
I sneak in one more kiss before I let Leandra tug me towards the door. “You can come too. I need your help. Just because we convinced your grandma to let us buy the meat and cheese trays this time, since there are so many more of us and like thirty-three million kids running around to try and contain, doesn’t mean I don’t need help setting everything out.”
“Of course. Sorry. I was dragging my heels up here.”
“That’s okay. That’s why I was coming to get you now and not later, before everyone gets here, and hangry, cranky kids go on the loose.”
I hold up a hand and start counting off kids. “Trent and Lindy’s Jenny, Ash and Ellis’ Adam, Toren and Luna’s Milo and Ainsley, Taylen and Elodie’s Maya… Who am I missing?” Leandra stares blankly at me. “Well, you said thirty-three million. I was confused, thinking I’d missed a few.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re a dork, you know that? But I love you like crazy. Even if the curse hadn’t got us, I would have chosen you. I wouldn’t have let my pride, my doubts, or my ego bruised by past hurts get in the way.”
“I know. I would have firmly convinced you by seducing you with flowers that say hate and wish you unwell and all that.”
“And I would have kept sending toilets until you paid attention to me.”
We share a secret, private smile before she takes my hand, squeezes lightly, and leads me downstairs to where our brood is no doubt giving GG C a run for her money. Not that Timothy, Teddy, Tina, and Taylor aren’t charming. They are indeed. When they’re not behaving like trolls. Which they quite often do. Don’t get me wrong. We love the heck out of them anyway, but they can be overwhelming for one person to try and contain.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I pick Leandra up and carry her, honeymoon fashion, into the room where our children await. I like to be that embarrassing father who shows just how crazy he is for his children’s mother. That’s always going to be me. Always. One day, I’m sure we’ll be greeted by groans and protests and choruses of “yuk,” and “my eyes.” That day is not today, and even if it was, it’s not going to stop me from loving my lovely wife. Ever. Curse or no curse, I’m always going to be head over heels for Leandra. Just like she said, even without it, I still would have, and always will, choose her.
