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excuse for a royal. You should lay down, Cian. You should fade. The
world would be better if you faded.”
Cian’s eyes clouded over. He’d heard this before. He heard that
voice when he thought about getting up from time to time. He would
wonder about something. His curiosity would urge him to get out of
bed, but then that voice came back. Beck would be better if he faded.
Sometimes he would wake up, and she would be waiting at his
bedside, whispering the words over and over until he believed them.
There was some sort of smoke that went with the episodes. He always
felt so much farther away after he breathed that smoke.
“Get back in your bed, Cian,” Liadan said in a commanding voice.
“It’s time to fade. You’ll be happier, and so will Beckett.” The voice
became soothing. He felt her hands on his shoulders. They were cold.
“It will be nice, won’t it? You can go someplace warm. You can be
with your mother and your sister again. You miss them, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes.” A picture of his little sister formed in his mind. She’d
been his playmate. Beck had been too serious for that. He’d always
been with their father in some important meeting, even when they had
been young children. Bronwyn had been the one to run through the
palace halls, screaming with laughter. She’d been the one to explore
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the river with him, and make fun of him when he started to notice
girls.
She had died in his arms.
Something was wet on his face. Cian realized he was crying. Yes,
it was best to fade. He couldn’t help Beck. He was weak. Beck would
have a better chance if he was gone.
Woodenly, Cian turned toward the cottage. He heard Lia’s
satisfied sigh as he left her, but it didn’t really register. He began to walk past the barn with one thought in his head. He would lie down,
