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“I don’t care if she’s a brat or not. She’s perfect.” Cali pressed Mom’s hand closer. “Right there, do you feel it?”
Mom’s eyes were full of wonder as she experienced her grandchild kicking against her palm. “That’s so amazing. I remember how it felt when Garret and Nova would kick me. I didn’t think there could be a more magical experience.” Her chin began to wobble, and she sucked in a steadying breath. “But this is something else entirely.”
“I decided on a name while you were gone,” Cali announced.
“Thank goodness. I thought you were going to drive us all crazy trying to find the perfect fit,” I teased. “Well, let’s hear it. What will we be calling our baby girl?”
“Justice,” she said, lifting her chin as if daring anyone to argue with her choice. “Justice Nova.”
My heart melted, and I quickly had to blink back my tears. “You’re giving her my name too?”
“How could I not? If it weren’t for you, neither one of us would have made it this far.” She held out her hand, and I grasped it, entwining our fingers.
“I think it’s a beautiful name,” Mom murmured, still rubbing Cali’s belly. I couldn’t blame her. Even as small as the baby bump was, it was addictive to touch. I spent hours almost every night doing just that.
Cali released a tiny laugh. “Well, it’s definitely ironic. I mean, it’s pure justice that my daughter will be the one to rule everything that Manuel was so desperate to have full control over.”
“I like it. It’s both beautiful and badass. Just like our little Justice will be,” I vowed.
“With you as her auntie, I don’t doubt it.” Cali yawned. “Sorry. Apparently it’s exhausting lying around doing nothing except growing another person inside you.”
“Been there, done that,” Mom laughed dryly. “With Nova, I was on bed rest from the beginning of the third trimester. I still went into preterm labor. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I thought we were going to lose her.” She shuddered. “And then, we actually lost her… Or at least, we thought we did. When they told me she was dead, a part of me died inside.”
“Mom,” I whispered, hating the pain in her voice.
She swallowed hard. “It’s over now. I have you back. And Cali too. That’s something to celebrate. Plus, now we have baby Justice to plan for. We need to get the nursery ready and start stocking up on everything.”
Cali’s face lit up with excitement. “Yes, yes, and yes. Let’s get started now. Let’s use my iPad and start ordering baby furniture.”
I stood and stretched. “You two have fun with that. I have some work to get caught up on.”
“I’ll text you pictures of things we like,” Cali promised.
I couldn’t resist touching her exposed belly before shooting Mom a look, reminding her to get busy convincing Cali about being admitted into the hospital. She gave me a wink Cali didn’t see, and I let myself relax a little, knowing Mom wouldn’t let me down.
44
Ryan
I wiped the blood off my face with the towel Garret tossed me. My jaw was throbbing from the left uppercut I’d taken, but that was the only hit my opponent had landed before I’d knocked him flat on his ass. The fight had lasted all of three minutes before I’d gotten bored and just wanted it over.
The ache in my face was welcomed. It was a relief to feel something other than this gaping void all day long. The only time I felt anything was when I was in the cage. I’d gotten into it when Vito and Bennie had dragged Garret and me to one of the fights they tended to frequent one night. No doubt, my mom had encouraged them to take us out so we didn’t spend yet another night locked in our apartment, glaring at the walls, pretending to be alive by watching random crappy TV shows.
But really, we were just walking zombies, no matter what we were doing. Or that had been the case for me until someone had run their mouth at the underground fight, and I’d gotten tired of hearing the sound of their annoying voice. I wasn’t even sure what the dumb fuck had been ranting about, nor why I’d been so pissed.
What I did remember was the ache in my knuckles as I’d knocked the fucker on his ass and then started slamming my fist into his face over and over and over again. Garret and Vito had to pull me off the guy, who, by that time, was out cold. Or maybe he was dead. I hadn’t seen him since that night, and honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to care if I’d killed him or not.
One of the promoters for the fights had seen me and asked if I wanted to get in on the matches the following week. Vito had tried to tell the guy no way, but I’d been a little high on the thrill of more pain and told him I was interested. For the past four weeks, I’d been fighting every Saturday night, and so far, I was undefeated.
Most of the guys I faced in the cages had been doing this a long time. They had skills I had yet to learn because they’d been fighting to survive all their lives. When they got into the cage with me, they thought they would have me at their mercy in no time. What they didn’t know was that I had rage and pain festering inside me every moment I wasn’t fighting. Those emotions needed an outlet, and using my opponents’ faces as a punching bag was the only way I allowed myself to release it.
It usually only took about thirty seconds for them to realize I wasn’t an easy win. A few minutes later, they would be on the ground, knocked out. Each time I stood over them, I felt a twinge of jealousy that they could escape reality for however long they were out. What kind of relief would that be? Not to feel anything, to turn it all off and just float in darkness for a few minutes.
Would I get to see Nova? And if I did, would she be the beautiful, smiling version who kissed me goodbye that last night…or the broken, bloody pieces that came later?
I finished mopping up my face and tossed the towel to Bennie since Garret was busy answering his phone. The younger twin caught my arm and used the towel to rub over the outer bicep of my right arm. “You missed a spot, cuz,” he muttered as he made sure the impurity was cleared away from the tattoo that was only six weeks old.
I nodded my thanks then brushed the backs of my knuckles over the portrait of Nova’s face. Lyric Thornton had put it on me, allowing me to take my angel everywhere with me the only way I could now.
