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He was surprised and clutched it roughly in his fist. "I should have listened to my friends. They all told me you were just a brain with no feelings. You probably went home and wrote a report after every date we had, didn't you?"
"Of course not," I said.
"I feel sorry for you," he continued, shaking his 'head. "You'll always be dissecting people. What did you do, take your temperature and decide tonight was a prime egg night?" he asked with his lips twisted into a sarcastic smirk. His words were like darts aimed at my heart. Tears burned under my eyelids, but I wouldn't permit myself to cry in front of him.
"Are you coming, Claude?" Diane Ratner asked as she crooked her shoulder suggestively.
"You're damn right I am," he said and smiled at her. Then he put his arm through hers and embraced her tightly around the waist. She squealed with glee and flashed a look of satisfaction at me. I could just hear her bragging: "You might be our class valedictorian and you might have this big house and great party, but I have your boyfriend.
"Satisfied?" Claude asked me.
"Yes. If this is what you've decided is most important, then I am very satisfied. I made the right decision," I said.
His smile faded quickly. "Go read a book," he snapped.
"A dry one," Diane added. Their peals of laughter trailed after them as they joined the others and headed for the front door.
Catherine came running over to me. "What are you doing?"
"The sensible thing," I said. She shook her head and looked toward the others. "Go on. Don't worry about me. I'm all right."
"This was supposed to be our night to howl," she whined.
"We all howl in different ways, I suppose. Why did you let them destroy my speech? I thought we were close friends."
"It was just a joke. I knew you would be all right," she said but she averted her gaze.
"Friends protect and look after each other, but I suppose that takes some maturity," I added dryly.
Her eyes snapped back, full of fire. "I don't know what to think about you anymore, Pearl. Maybe you're too full of yourself for the rest of us. I'm disappointed," she added and turned away to hurry after the others. I watched them all leave the house, and for a moment, all the music, all the chatter and the laughter, faded. I heard only Claude's angry words and Catherine's disappointment.
I bit down on my lower lip and sucked back the sobs that clamored to escape. Even though I had eaten, I had a hollow feeling in my stomach. Was I too much of a goody-goody? Was I just a brain?
I looked back at my party. Everyone was having such a good time, and Daddy had never looked younger or happier. Mommy was in a conversation with some of her gallery friends. All of my classmates had gone. Why, on this, the night I was supposed to feel so wonderful, was I standing here feeling devastated? I hurried out the side doors and walked down the patio toward the pool and cabana, leaving the jolly sounds of laughter, music, and chatter behind me.
I folded my arms under my breasts and walked slowly with my head down. Suddenly the twins and two of their friends jumped out of the hedges at me, all of them screaming, "Boo!"
"Get away from me!" I cried harshly.
Pierre's jaw dropped, but Jean kept laughing. "We were just fooling, Pearl," Pierre said.
"I don't have the patience for the two of you right now. Leave me alone!" I yelled at them.
"We're sorry," Pierre said. He seized Jean's arm. "Come on. Let's go see if we can get some ice cream."
"What's the matter with her?" Jean asked, confused.
"Let's go," Pierre ordered. Although Jean was stronger, he obeyed his brother, and the four of them scurried back to the house, leaving me with my shadows.
Above, the sky that had been mostly clear with stars gleaming was growing increasingly overcast. It was as if the clouds were being drawn from one horizon to the other like some great dark curtain to shut out the heavens and shut away the happiness I had experienced this day. I planted myself on a lounge chair and listened to the sounds of the city that drifted over our walls.
"What's wrong, Pearl?" I heard someone say a short whi
le later. I looked up to see Mommy standing in the shadows.
"Nothing."
She stepped into the pale glow of the patio lights. "I know you too well, honey, and you know I feel your sadness," she said. She did, too. We were so close at times, it made Daddy shake his head in wonder. "I carried you inside me. We're too much a part of each other not to know each other's deepest feelings. What happened?"
