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"The school nurse called and I told her I was fine and resting. Momma still hadn't gotten up. When I went out to the kitchen though, she shouted for me to make her some coffee and bring it to her.

"'As long as you're home, you might as well be of some use,' she said.

"I made her the coffee and brought it to her. She groaned and sat up, keeping her eyes closed as if the lids had been turned to lead. After a sip, she fluttered them open. They were so bloodshot, I could barely make out the pupils.

"'Your brother off to school?' she asked. Why didn't she think of that first? I thought.

"'Yes. That man was here with you last night,' I said.

"'So? Get used to it. I ain't becoming a nun just because your no-good-for-nothing of a father deserted me. Truth is, he wasn't much of a lover-man anyway.'

"I didn't want to hear any more of it so I went back to my room. She spent almost the whole morning sleeping and then she went to work earlier, probably to meet up with Aaron, I thought. As usual, I made Rodney supper and helped him with his schoolwork. By now we were almost by ourselves in the world anyway.

"When I returned to school the next day, the assistant principal didn't bother me. Most of the other kids had found out about my episode in his office and there was gossip, but after a while, they lost interest in it and for me it was just like a bad dream.

"This particular episode had all begun with my first period. That was my entrance to womanhood," I added. "For a while after, every time I got my period, I thought about all those events. Maybe remembering made it worse for me each time. Things certainly didn't get any easier around the house and Aaron was there more than I wanted him to be. The more Momma did with him, the less she did for Rodney and me,

not that she ever did all that much.

"There were times when we didn't have anything to eat and I had to go look for her to get some money. She tried having a charge account at the Spanish grocery on the block, but when she failed to pay the bill on time twice, they stopped letting us charge things. Rodney was eating so much peanut butter, he could have made commercials for the company.

"He was outgrowing shoes and clothes, but Momma didn't seem to notice or care unless I pointed it out and then there was all the complaining about how much things cost and where was my good-fornothing father who could make a kid but not care for him9 If Momma was drunk, she could rant about this for hours. I'd hear her voice in my dreams. I used to think her shouting and hollering got stuck on the walls like glue and just played itself over and over until I was sleeping with my hands over my ears or my pillow over my head.

"It's raining pain, I would tell myself. Once, when Momma began one of her frequent tirades, I actually went to the closet, took out the umbrella and opened it, holding it between me and her. She went wild, screaming about all the bad luck I was bringing into the house.

"'What about all you're bringing in?' I screamed back and she threw a frying pan at me. It would have hit me if I didn't have the umbrella and use it like a shield.

"Rodney started to cry so I scooped him up and went to my room, shutting the door. She kept yelling for a while and then settled down, but while she did, I held Rodney and petted his hair and kept him from crying. It got harder and harder for me to handle it all until one day, I did something that helped, something that really could stop the rain of pain:'

"I'd like to hear about that," Jade said. "Nothing really helps me."

"Me too," Cat added softly, almost under her breath. "What stopped your pain?"

Misty just had that happy-go-lucky smile on her face as if she knew.

"I had a blanket when I was little that Daddy once jokingly called my magic carpet. It stuck in my head and when I saw the movie Aladdin and saw the magic carpet, it made a big impression on me."

"So you went flying off on your blanket?" Jade asked with disappointment darkening her eyes.

"I suppose I did," I said.

"What?" Misty said, her smile widening. She looked at Jade, who grimaced, shook her head and raised her eyes toward the ceiling.

"Go on and laugh, but it worked for me."

"What worked for you?" Jade demanded. "You're not making any sense."

"I took my blanket and put it on my bed and lay down on it, folded myself up so my knees almost touched my stomach. It felt better that way."

"Oh," Jade said as if she thought that was it: a way to ease the menstrual cramps.

"And then I left," I added.

"Left?"

"Yeah, I guess I left in my imagination, but it helped. I saw myself flying off, out the window and out the city. I went to every place I ever dreamed about or saw on television and wished I was.

"I floated over the ocean, over forests and other cities. I actually saw things as if I was up high, everything looking so small like toys. My imaginary trips took long too because when I returned to my bed, more than an hour passed sometimes and I always felt better.

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