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“Tonight’s Gerad’s and the De Stagen sisters’ night off. He prepared some sort of casserole with a fancy name. It just has to be warmed. There’s a salad for us as well. I’ll take care of it. If you don’t like the casserole, I can make something else.”
“I’m sure what Gerad prepared is great. Okay. See you in a while,” he said, and left.
“He doesn’t believe we can do it,” Cassie whispered. “He should have been here when there was no one but us. Daddy doesn’t say it, but the meals Mother and I made were just as wonderful.”
Yes, I thought. Even better because we had been more like a real family then, and our conversation at the dinner table had rarely involved business. We would talk about ourselves or our home. It had never felt the way it did now, more like a corporate meeting.
I looked at my watch, closed the book, and went off to the kitchen to get dinner together. I was actually happy to do it whenever I could. It made me feel more like I belonged again and helped resurrect happy moments.
Just after I put the casserole into the oven, I heard Ethan scream my name. I listened. As he came down the stairway, he continued to call out for me. I checked the temperature on the stove and went out to the hallway as he reached the bottom of the stairs and turned. He had something in his right hand and was waving it. When I drew closer, I realized what it was.
“You’re still on these birth control pills, aren’t you?” he asked.
I stopped walking. He approached slowly, his eyes wide with amazement and anger.
“You went through my things?”
“It was lying out on your vanity table.”
I didn’t remember leaving it there. Had Cassie done that?
“Well? Are you still using these?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Yes? Why? Why?” he shouted. “Why did you pretend you weren’t? All this time, Semantha, I’ve been talking about our having a child, and you’ve never said a word. You let me go on and on while you knew you were preventing it from happening. Why?”
“We’re not ready yet.”
I looked just past him at Cassie, who nodded.
“We’re not? I’m certainly more than ready. Why aren’t we ready yet? It’s not a question of being able to afford children, and if you’re worried about caring for an infant or being bogged down, we certainly would have help.”
“There are things that have to be done yet.”
“What things? What are you talking about?”
“Heaven-stone has to be restored,” I said. Cassie smiled and nodded. “The family has to be restored.”
“What?” He took a step back as if I had something contagious. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He shook his head. “You’re not making any sense.” He looked at the birth control pills in his hand and then at me. “Lucille’s right. You need to return to serious therapy, Semantha. This makes me sick.”
“If you loved me, really loved me, you would understand,” I said.
“Try me. Explain it to me.”
“She’s manipulating us, changing everything. Maybe you don’t even realize how much she controls you.”
“Who? Lucille?”
“What did she promise you, Ethan? What did she tell you she’d do for you if you returned to me?”
“That’s crazy, Semantha. You know I fell in love with you, and you did fall in love with me, didn’t you? She couldn’t control that, could she?” He nodded. “You’re suffering from serious paranoia now. And look at what you’ve done to yourself, chopping off your hair. And this,” he said, waving the birth control pills. “This, while all along deceiving me.”
He stared at me, his anger receding, his face relaxing as the rage left his eyes.
“I shouldn’t yell at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry this is happening, but I’m not losing hope and my faith in you. I love you too much. We’ll get you the help you need, and we’ll start again. It will be all right. I do understand and I forgive you.”
He put the birth control pills in his pocket and stepped forward to embrace me.
