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"I'd like that, Mr. Stein," she said.
"Okay, I'll leave you guys to your plotting and scheming," he said.
I felt myself blush. If he only knew how true that was, I thought.
Karen didn't even blink. She smiled back at him and looked at the science text again.
"I just love your father," she said, her eyes on the textbook page. "My real dad was a good guy, too." She rarely talked about him, so I didn't breathe. "If he knew what was happening to me now . . ." She looked up at me, her eyes glassy with tears. "There is nothing better than having someone to protect you, Zipporah."
I nodded, tears coming to my eyes as well.
Then she smiled. "We're going to do it, though, aren't we? We're going to make it all right. We're going to protect ourselves."
"Yes," I said. "Bird Oath."
She reached for my hand, and we held each other's hand for a long moment. Then she sucked back her tears, took a deep breath, and said, "Mrs. Lotha is absolutely sadistic to give us this much homework. Let's start calling her Mrs. Loathing."
I laughed. Karen was really the wittiest girl I knew.
Afterward, I stood outside in the dark and watched her get on her bike to ride back to the village. When she had gone to say good-bye to my father in the living room, he had offered to drive her and put her bike in the car trunk, but she said she wanted to ride through the darkness.
"It's kind of exciting in a way, Mr. Stein," she said. "It's not pitch dark. I can see where I'm going all right, but with the stars and all, it's just nice."
My father smiled at her and nodded. "Yes, sir," he said, "I wish I was a teenager again."
The way he said it and continued to look at Karen made me think he wished he was a teenager just so he could pursue her. It put a cold and then hot surge through my heart, and I looked at her with a new sense of envy. I was even a little angry. First Jesse expressed admiration for her, and now my father looked as if he was doing the same thing. Of course, I couldn't imagine him lusting after any woman other than my mother. I didn't want to hear even a reference to any of his former girlfriends.
"You must have been quite a teenager in your day, Mr. Stein," she told him, and he beamed.
"I had my fun," he admitted.
"You'd better get going," I told Karen, "before your mother starts worrying about you."
She looked at me and nodded.
"Night, Mr. Stein. Say hello to Mrs. Stein." "Will do," Daddy called to her.
I followed her out. We stood on the stoop for a few moments. Neither of us said anything. She looked as if she had frozen. Her eyes didn't move, and her jaw was taut.
"Karen?" I said.
&
nbsp; "I hate him," she said suddenly, with such vehemence I felt chilled. She looked at me. "I hate what he's done to me. I hate going back there."
She got on her bike.
"Maybe you should talk to your mother, Karen." She spun on me and glared. Then she shook her head and started to pedal away.
"Karen. I'm just worried about it. Karen,' I called, "I'm still going to help you. Karen!" I screamed, but she didn't stop, and a few moments later, she was lost in the darkness.
That darkness was thicker than I could ever imagine. Later, I would think it was as if it had actually absorbed her, sucked her into it, until she had become part of it and would never escape from it.
"Everything all right?" my father asked when I reentered the house.
"Yes," I said. "I'm tired," I added quickly, and ran up to my room.
I sat there for a while, thinking about
