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"Let me help you get it, Mom," Aunt Zipporah said, rising. I knew what she wanted was some private moments with my grandmother, so I sat.
My grandfather leaned forward.
"I'd be the last one to put obstacles in your path, Alice. You know that. And I appreciate all that you have endured because of some mean-hearted people. Maybe what you're proposing will be the best thing for you. I just want to warn you that sometimes what we think is an escape is simply a short diversion. Sometimes, running away doesn't work because you carry so much with you. It's better to face your demons head-on where they are."
"It's not worth it, Grandpa. Except for being with you and Grandma, there's nothing here I want to win or achieve."
"I'm only saying casting yourself out isn't as promising as you might think. We're all on rafts of one sort or another, and the only thing that gives us any stability, any hope, are the lines between us and the ones we love."
"I'm not breaking them. I'm only stretching them a bit," I said, and he laughed.
"Okay."
Moments later, Aunt Zipporah and Grandma brought in our dessert. My grandmother seemed more upbeat. I was confident Aunt Zipporah would quiet her fears and smooth it over for me. I sug gested, of course, that I leave with Aunt Zipporah after lunch.
"Today? But if you're going for a longer period, your packing," my grandmother said. "And . ."
"I don't need much right away."
"She's right. We'll bring the rest of her stuff a little at a time, Elaine. We'll take a ride next
weekend," my grandfather said.
I could see the reality taking hold rapidly now in my grandmother's face. To talk about it was one thing, but to actually see it happening was another.
"I was going up there anyway within the week to work for the summer. What difference does a few more days make?" I asked.
She nodded. She knew that, but now that I had added the idea that I wouldn't be returning, she seemed frightened again.
"Don't worry about me, Grandma. I'm going to be all right," I said.
Afterward, Aunt Zipporah came up to my room to help me put my things together. My grandmother stopped in to be sure I was taking everything I would definitely need. "For a week or the rest of your life," she added, a little grumpy.
My grandfather stopped by to say he would bring up my art materials.
"I don't expect to have much free time for it," I said, but Aunt Zipporah disagreed.
"You'll have some wonderful scenic
opportunities, Alice. Both Tyler and I will want you to continue your art. Maybe you'll do one for the cafe," she suggested. "And don't forget the studio we have behind the house." Her ability to be upbeat about everything was another reason I wanted to go back with her now and stay there.
"It's not a problem for me to bring the materials," my grandfather repeated.
"Okay. Thanks, Grandpa," I said.
Everyone helped pack the car.
"She's spent two summers with us already, Mom," Aunt Zipporah told my grandmother, who looked like she was about to burst into tears.
"I know, but all I seem to be doing these days is saying good-bye to everyone."
"It's not good-bye, Grandma. It's so long for now. I'll come see you if you don't come to see me," I promised.
"I've always done the best I could for you, Alice. Both of us have."
"I know, and I don't love either of you any less today than I did yesterday or I will tomorrow."
My grandfather stepped up to her and in a whisper loud enough for me to hear said, "Let her go, Elaine. Give her a chance."
