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But those women weren’t Jill, and he’d never been the same man with any of them. She’d brought out something in him he always fought to shove down. She’d made him feel comfortable enough to be himself. She knew his mother had walked away from their family without warning when he was sixteen, and she’d never acted like it affected her opinion of him. Around Jill, he could just be.
That made her dangerous. This was a difficult time. He had to keep his true self repressed. Resist his wild urges. Resist how she was touching him, inviting his dark side to break free…
And fuck, those lips, pink and shimmering. Her tongue slicked along their fullness, tempting him to edge his thumbs deeper into the V of her thighs, wondering if she’d part for him.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby girl.”
“I do know how the mechanics work, you know.” She tossed back her hair, all fire and sass and impatience. An irresistible combination. “As for the particulars, sure, they could use a little refining—”
He slanted his mouth over hers, more to make her shut up than anything. God knew he wasn’t fully thinking about what he was doing, or he never would’ve pushed her up against the building, never would’ve let her take his cock in her hand.
That taste of what could be would haunt him. He fucking knew better.
But then she licked her lips and pressed her body into his, and he lost it. His hand came up between her legs, and hearing her gasp, he let out a sharp growl and leaned in to take her mouth with his.
Lust swam into his bloodstream with her first startled exhalation. She didn’t fight to keep him out, just opened her lips and invited him in with a sly curl of her tongue. She tasted fresh and…young. Hunger licked at his mouth, her tongue eager, ready, and flavored with cherries.
He fisted his hands in all that damn hair pouring down her back. He couldn’t contain it, couldn’t turn her head just right to get deep enough into her sweet, warm depths.
She was right there with him, moaning her pleasure while she writhed against him and gripped his sweater. Thank God she’d let go of his dick or he would’ve—
“Fuck. No.” Releasing her hair, he ripped his mouth away and stared down at her flushed face as if she were a frightening apparition. For all intents and purposes, she was. She represented his longing for something he was never going to have, no matter what.
“Yes,” she whispered, eyes still closed as she reached for him. “I think you missed a spot.”
He nearly laughed. Damn this woman. “I didn’t miss a thing, and you know it.”
“Mmm.” Eyes still shut, she smiled. “I can think of a couple.”
Did she—oh yeah, she did. She’d placed her innuendoes right at the door of no man’s land, and he was imagining every fucking second.
To keep himself from grabbing her again, he stepped away and struggled for oxygen. She’d been throwing him off his game since he was a teenager. Nice to see nothing had changed.
Except now he could walk away and not look back. Not like all those years ago. He’d had a difficult time shaking her off, especially when he’d been so close to her mother. Touching Mrs. St. John’s baby girl seemed like sacrilege, even if he’d been all too aware that if he didn’t, someone else would.
But he didn’t have girlfriends. Never had, and he still didn’t. He took lovers. And if any girl had ever been more girlfriend-material than Jill St. John, he’d never met her.
Reason number sixty-nine not to even consider going there now.
“Jill,” he said, waiting until her heavy lids lifted. Something twisted in his gut at the dreamy look in her eyes, evident even in the dim light. “We’re in public. Anyone could walk out here and see us. Goddammit, I barely said hello before I practically mauled you.” After she’d first felt up his cock, but that was neither here nor there.
“So?” Her chin jutted out.
“The last thing I need is more gossip about my love life. I’m trying to clean up my image.” Not exactly by choice, either. He’d been in damage-control mode since even before h
e’d been released by his team. A little gossip about wild times behind closed doors helped an athlete’s career. Too much hampered it. He’d been trying to balance the scales for months now.
“Oh, so I’m dirtying you up?” Rather than sounding insulted, she sounded amused. Maybe even intrigued.
Clearly that tactic wasn’t going to work. Time to pull out the big guns, the numero-uno reason he’d never let himself cross that line with her. If he hadn’t already. “You’re my sister’s best friend.”
Just like that, the shutters fell on her face. His gratitude that he’d found the key to make her retreat didn’t lessen his reluctance to lose access to that soft, sexy part of her.
She tugged at her dress, pulling it back into place with a prim little jerk that made his cock twitch. “And your point is what?”
“You and me can never happen.” He tried to make his voice gentle, but it was difficult when he was pretty sure his shaft would permanently bear the imprint of his zipper. “She would never want to see you with the likes of me.” And she’d be right.
“Why, because you actually know what you’re doing in bed? God fucking forbid.” She reached up to straighten her hair. The more she fussed with it, the wilder it became. “Guess what, Mr. Big Shot? I don’t mind that you’ve been with a gazillion women.”
