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My heart is practically beating out of my chest as I wait for Lorraine to set everything up though. I shouldn’t be nervous because I know that I’m not pregnant. First of all, Gary and I always use protection. Second, I haven’t experienced any symptoms of pregnancy, although my period hasn’t come this month yet, but that happens sometimes. It’s nothing to stress about.
Still, the idea of taking a pregnancy test is nerve-wracking, and I can’t stop thinking about the few times that Gary and I failed to use a condom. Yes, it did happen, although it’s relatively rare. Sometimes though, it’s a little difficult to care about condoms when you’re desperate. Like that one time during one of our dates, in the bed of his truck. We’d been watching a drive-in movie and things got a little heated on-screen, which translated to some nookie right there, right then. Yes, we ended up having sex right in the middle of an open area with other cars around us, but did we care? No. Even more, we forgot to use a condom in our desperation to get his cock inside me.
There were also a few times when we’d settled into bed or on the couch, cuddled up together. They’re supposed to be innocent cuddle sessions, but sometimes Gary would get hard, and I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to push myself back on him until he finally gave in and pulled his hardness out of his boxers. Then, he’d pull my panties to the side and maneuver me down on that stiff shaft, making me moan with wonder. But those times were few and far between! We usually always use a condom. Well—actually, now that I think of it, we’ve really slacked lately. Shit.
“Okay, ready!” Lorraine’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “I’ll walk you through all the steps. It’s a bit different than taking a regular pregnancy test, but it’s just as easy, if not even easier. This is why my experimenting is important,” she says. “I’m going to revolutionize the at-home pregnancy test industry.”
I silently nod, listening carefully as she explains what to do. The more she talks, the more anxious I get, and by the time it’s finally time for me to actually take the test, I’m shaking.
Fortunately, it doesn’t take long to get the results, although the ten minutes feel like ten hours instead. I try to distract myself by getting back to my own work, but it’s useless. My hands are trembling, and I keep almost knocking my test tubes over again. Maybe it’s best to just leave things alone before I mess something up and ruin all my hard work.
“Lori?” I call. “How’s it coming?”
She squints at her computer screen.
“Oh,” I hear her mumble quietly. “Maybe it isn’t working properly. I might have done something wrong—”
“What are the results?” I interject, although I already know what the results are. It’s funny, really. A potential pregnancy wasn’t even on my radar up until ten minutes ago, but now, I’m certain that I’m expecting. There’s no doubt in my mind.
My friend hems and haws some more.
“Well, you know you’re the first person to ever take this test and even store-bought pregnancy tests that have been around for years can be wrong sometimes, so it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if this one was incorrect—"
“Lorraine,” I whisper. “What are the results?”
She looks up, nervous.
“Well, it came back positive, Pats. According to this, you’re pregnant. But like I said, this whole thing is just a beta, and it’s possible that it’s incorrect.”
Meanwhile her voice drones on and on while my heart races and my vision goes blurry.
“Patty!” Lorraine gasps, quickly coming over as I sit down hard on the floor. “Are you okay?” she asks, leaning over me with concern. “You look as if you’re going to pass out any second now.”
I shake my head, eyes wide.
“What am I going to do?” I whisper, mostly to myself. This is so much to think about, and so sudden too. A few minutes ago, I was just working in the lab, completely focused on my experiment. Now, I’m a mom-to-be and the father of the baby happens to be my secret boyfriend, not to mention my ex-boyfriend’s dad.
Reality hits me hard. I’ve never thought about having a baby because it’s too early. I’m only nineteen, for crying out loud! It’s not that I’ve never thought about becoming a mother, but it’s always been in very vague terms. But now, the issue is here, up front and center, and I have to address it.
I’m pregnant. There’s a baby inside of me. It’s a human life, made by the love and attraction between me and Gary.
But as my emotions swirl, one thing becomes clear: honestly, I’m not upset about the pregnancy. Weird, right? Maybe I should be because this is huge—it’s something that will change my life forever, and Gary’s too. Maybe I should be upset or worried or both. Maybe I shouldn’t want it at all. But the thing is that I already know that I do want the child.
