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'I don't know,' said Nicola. 'He is quite . . . strange.'
'I always told him that he needed to stop letting his phobias rule his life but he wouldn't listen. And now the little scamp is in charge of Shobble, eh? Does he do a good job?' Horatio took a massive bite of the sandwich.
'Well,' said Nicola. 'We're from another planet so we don't really know, but the thing is, the marshmallow miners and chocolate drillers don't get paid for their work.'
'They don't need any money,' said Horatio cheerfully. 'They just go along to the Department of Free Goods and Services
for anything they need - clothing, building materials, medicine, food other than chocolate . . . It's an enormous building. You just wheel your trolley about and help yourself. Wonderful place.'
Nicola thought back to the building they'd passed when they first arrived in Shobble.
'I think Enrico closed it,' said Nicola.
'Oh.' Horatio's bushy eyebrows drew together to form a 'v' shape. 'But then what does he do with all the money from the sales of ShobbleChoc?'
'He spends it on himself and his family and other hairities,' said Greta.
'What's a hairity?' asked Horatio.
'It's someone with long straight brown hair,' explained Nicola. 'They're like celebrities on this planet. People take photos of them.'
Horatio clapped his hands together. 'What a turn up for the books! Once upon a time children would make fun of people with long brown hair just because they were unusual. Enrico, for example, was teased terribly at school because of his hair. He used to get very upset.' Horatio paused. He seemed to be thinking. 'Perhaps that's what this is all about. Naughty Enrico is taking revenge on all those people who teased him at school.'
'I thought Shobble people were the nicest people in the galaxy,' said Shimlara. 'Why did the other children tease him?'
'Well, I must admit that's something of a myth we do like to encourage. While we are extremely nice, easygoing people, there are exceptions to every rule,' said Horatio. 'But tell me, why are the people of Shobble putting up with this shabby treatment by Naughty Enrico?'
'It's not that easy to get rid of a Commander-in-Chief,' said Nicola, thinking of Enrico's huge Security Thugs.
'Oh, I shouldn't think it would be that much trouble,' said Horatio airily.
The members of the Space Brigade exchanged looks that meant, Huh, what does he know!
'I know what you're thinking,' said Horatio. 'You're thinking, He's just an old man, what would he know?'
'Oh, no, not at all!' they protested.
'Well I actually know quite a lot,' said Horatio. 'My great-grandmother was one of the people who helped draft Shobble's Constitution. I know every word of the Constitution off by heart. You might be interested in clause 367-AAB-38479579034554. Shall I recite it to you?'
'All right,' said Nicola, hoping it wouldn't take too long. They really needed to get going soon.
'"If enough Shobble people sign a petition on a length of rose-coloured parchment, calling politely and respectfully for the removal of a Commander-in-Chief, and that parchment is long enough to stretch the length of a Shobble rainbow, then the Commander must resign gracefully and immediately, whereupon an election must be held for a new Commander. An attractive thank-you card should be sent to the resigning Commander within fourteen days."'
The Space Brigade stared at Horatio. Surely it couldn't be that easy.
'My great-grandmother was a stickler for good manners,' said Horatio. 'That's why there is all that stuff about "politely" and "respectfully".'
'But Enrico would just ignore the Constitution,' said Sean. 'Or maybe he's even changed that rule already.'
'Nobody can change the Constitution,' said Horatio. 'That's clause number 1739-ZZZZ-1749237937432798489, which says, "The Constitution is perfect, thanks very much, and cannot and shall not ever be changed." And the Constitution certainly cannot be ignored, even by Naughty Enrico. The little rogue!'
'Well,' said Nicola doubtfully. She could so easily imagine Enrico curling his lip and saying he was far too important for the Constitution to apply to him. 'But why hasn't anyone thought of this before?'
'I expect because the Constitution takes up over two thousand volumes and nobody can be bothered to read it all,' said Horatio.
Suddenly Nicola was filled with hope. This will solve everything. This mission will be as easy as pie! We'll just arrange for a petition as long as a rainbow calling for Enrico's resignation!
She shook herself. 'Why does this valley make you feel so hopeful?' she asked Horatio.
