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I turned away from his kiss, wouldn’t let his lips come close to mine. But I let him run his hands down my arms. Along my hips. I let his palms smooth their way to my front, his breath heavy as they began to move up to my breasts.
But just as he tried to touch them, I shirked away.
“I can’t,” I breathed out, shaking my head. Eyes closed. Mind spinning. When I opened them back, he was stepping toward me again. “Stop,” I said firmly. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry. You have to leave.”
Standing in the middle of my living room, Caleb grimaced and stared. Still looking down at my body. Still hoping for another second.
But when I said it again, he nodded, blowing out a big breath of air through his mouth before he turned around and walked out my front door.
And once he was gone, I stood there and buried my face in my hands, ready to just let it all out. To let go of the sob I’d been holding in for so long. The pain that had been bottling inside me since I walked onto that roof.
But then I heard shuffling in the hallway.
Then jostling.
I looked up from my hands when I heard the sound of low muttering outside. Two voices that got louder by the word.
Then came a loud thump.
One, then another, and when I realized limbs were crashing into the wall outside my apartment, I flew to the door, swinging it open just in time to hear Caleb hiss, “So what? You’re clearly here for the same!”
I got in the hall just in time to see Iain throw him against the wall.
“Iain!” I yelled, rushing between them just as Caleb swung at Iain and missed. My eyes lit on fire as I turned to him. “Get out!” I yelled at Caleb, my voice reedy and tears threatening to spill.
But I held them just a little longer, waiting till he finished cursing under his breath and getting out of my sight.
And once he was, I turned and stalked back to my door without so much as a glance in Iain’s direction. “Don’t come near me,” I said, my voice vibrating with fury.
He said nothing in reply but when I got into my apartment and slammed the door behind me, I heard him catch it and walk in.
I turned around, heart thudding when his stare locked on mine—vicious, tormented. Fired up like I’d never seen.
“Get out,” I said. Almost calmly. But when he shut the door behind him and came toward me, I screamed, “Get out, Iain!”
My pulse rocketed when he only kept coming, so I spun and headed for my bedroom, intent on slamming another door in his face. But I yelped as he firmly caught my arm and pulled me back.
“Don’t—” I ground out, pushing away, getting out two long strides before he growled my name and caught me by my robe, spinning me around and pulling me into his chest.
My tears finally spilled as I tried to fight him, to shove him away and tell him I didn’t want him here. It was all a lie, but I didn’t want it to be, so I tried yelling it true while shoving in vain against Iain and his every muscle clenched so tight it felt like stone.
But my body slowed, weak from resisting, and when I could see through my tears again, I saw the anguish in Iain’s eyes as they bore into me. The torment twisting in his features as he panted an inch from my lips, whispering I’m sorry with my hands collected in his and my back pinned against the wall.
I stared into him as he did the same to me. Three seconds of our hot breaths tangling in the same fog of thick air.
And then our mouths crashed against each other, our arms wrapping around each other and holding on tight as we kissed like we needed one another to breathe. My hands grasped fistfuls of his hair as his hands grabbed all over my body, squeezing at me, pulling at me like he refused to let go for even as second.
“I can’t give you up, Holland,” he whispered urgently. “I tried. I can’t. I’m sorry,” he murmured to me between kisses, his hands cupping my face, his forehead resting on mine. “I can feel it when you hurt. I always have. And I hate being the one who does it to you. I fucking hate it. I can’t do that again.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me. Talking to himself. But it didn’t matter. He was talking. Telling me all the things I needed to hear.
“Come clean with me, Iain,” I whispered, holding his wrists as he held onto my face. “You have to.”
“I will. I promise. I’ll give you everything you want, Holland. I’m not letting you go again,” he breathed harshly. “You’re everything I need, and I need you to be mine and only mine. Because you belong to me. You’ve always belonged to me.”
His words tranquilized me, fire still in my eyes but a calm spreading though my veins as I pushed Iain back enough so he could look at me. All of me. Still wet. Fully bare under my torn open robe. The room was silent besides our panting breaths, but then I spoke the words that started it all.
“Show me then.”
