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“I should get going,” he said. “I parked at the end of the trail, and it’s a couple mile walk. I don’t want to be out there in the dark.”
“Sure,” I said. “I would drive you, but I don’t have a car. And… you know.”
I gestured toward my leg jokingly, but he just nodded. He was already half-dressed and was unfolding his shirt. As he slipped it on, I felt torn. I didn’t feel like he was running away, but he certainly was leaving quickly. Then again, Dee would be home soon, and I certainly didn’t want her catching him in my room.
“I’ll see you soon?” he asked, pausing at my door.
“Yeah. Absolutely.”
I smiled, and he returned it, then walked away, letting himself out the front door.
18
GERRY
I drove home feeling absolutely manic.
It had been the single best possible scenario and then the single worst one.
Following her up to her house, I could feel the tension between us. I could feel how close we were to bubbling over from a peck at the bonfire to a full-on make-out session. Then it went from zero to sixty in no time, and all bets were off.
I’d had the single greatest sexual experience of my life. The intensity was off the charts, and our bodies reacted to each other’s so well that I felt like my soul left my body for a moment to join with hers. It was magic. Absolutely magic.
Then it was over, and I realized I had crossed a line. Whether it was okay or not, I didn’t really know anymore—all I knew was that it had been crossed for good. She wasn’t yet twenty-one, and I was over thirty. I felt like, no matter how much she might have been rolling right along with it, maybe I had taken advantage of her in some way.
Relationships couldn’t be built on that. It all hit me suddenly, and I rolled out of bed, still dizzy from the most incredible sex ever, and got out of there with barely a word. I turned tail and ran.
There wasn’t a much better way to put it. I ran. I hadn’t known what to say to her, how to handle it, and I took the hell off. I was sure I said something, something along the lines of seeing her around, but how dismissive was that? I essentially made it sound like I used her and then rolled out.
She was so confident, even with her injury. It was incredible, and part of the reason I was so attracted to her. She was every bit as fiery and witty and full of life as I figured she was before it all happened. When she beckoned me to join her in the bedroom, there wasn’t a trace of hesitation. Malia knew what she wanted, and she went for it with both barrels.
I had found myself never taking risks with relationships. Then this woman came along, so confident and sexy, and blew me away. She shocked me, making a move that I wasn’t sure I ever would have made on my own, emboldening me to return in kind. When we tumbled into bed, there wasn’t an ounce of reservation in either of us. It was freeing as much as it was confounding. Why had I never felt this before? Why did I have to feel it now?
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel at the only stoplight before climbing the mountain. Had I screwed it all up? Probably. I probably just insulted her enough that she would never want anything to do with me again. I might have one chance to explain myself, to apologize, but it would be the only chance I got. I would have to make it right.
But how?
I wasn’t sure about that part yet. When she was rude to me, she met me at the diner and sat down with me, apologizing and making a bit of a joke about herself in the process. Maybe I could do something similar. Of course, we knew each other a bit better now, and perhaps what I had done was more egregious than simply being rude. I bailed on a woman right after a passionate tryst that left us both panting and satisfied.
Somehow, I needed to make it up to her in a way she would accept. But I didn’t know how, and it was going to take some time and some careful thought. I wasn’t going to solve it while I was driving up the mountain.
I didn’t even remember walking the trail back. I knew I had. I’d had to gather a couple of the things I had out there and bring them with me. I spent at least ten minutes doing all that and then at least an hour or so walking the trail. But when I got into my truck, it was as if my brain had shut itself off and went on autopilot the whole way. I had been too singularly focused on getting out of there and getting back home that I hadn’t bothered to even process time passing.
