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I don’t blame her, after all. Everything she knows about me, and about our relationship, must seem like a mirage. I get that Michelle didn’t agree to any of it, much less her performances being recorded. But it was all for the greater good, or at least that’s what I tell myself. Hopefully, she’ll forgive me one day, even if it’s not now.
I shake the ice in my empty glass before rubbing the bridge of my nose between my eyes, trying to work out the headache that’s beginning to set in. It feels like there’s a hammer pounding the base of my skull, but when I open my eyes, the pounding stops and the breath catches in my lungs. After all, Michelle’s just walked in and she looks gorgeous in a loose, silky pink dress. It’s nothing like the skimpy outfits I’ve seen her in during our previous rendezvous, but she’s still breathtaking.
But when she draws closer, I see that she’s paler than usual, that even the pink lipstick and rouge on her cheeks can’t hide. I grit my teeth. I hope that’s not my fault, but signs point to yes.
Michelle gracefully seats herself on the stool next to me and shoots a glance my way. I try to smile even as my heart pounds.
“Hey,” I growl in a low voice. “It’s nice to see you.”
She nods.
“Hi Ben,” she replies quietly.
She’s silent for a few minutes, and the air shimmers between us. I hold my breath, wondering if I should say something, but I don’t want to push it. After all, she’s the one who invited me to come. The beautiful woman finally takes a deep breath and dives right in.
“I understand why you couldn’t reveal your real identity, Ben, even to me, and I forgive you for it. Rather, no forgiveness is necessary because you were doing something important. Saving those girls is your job, and I realize it was dangerous not just for me, but for you and everyone involved.”
I nod slowly.
“Yes, that’s true. Thank you though. I appreciate your understanding.”
The words sound so stilted, but I really do mean them. Then, Michelle closes her eyes and draws in another deep breath before looking at me again.
“Also, I’ve come to terms with the fact that people have seen me performing. It’s fine. Those girls on pedestals had it much worse, and what I went through is nothing compared to that. So I’m okay with that as well.”
I nod again, my heart picking up speed. Is this going where I think it will? Is she going to forgive me? Michelle nods and continues.
“Also, I should be completely upfront and say that you’re not the only one with secrets. There are some things I haven’t told you as well, Ben. Big things.”
I blink because I did not see this coming.
“What is it?” I ask in a low voice. “You know you can tell me anything.”
The gorgeous woman takes a deep breath, her blue eyes shuttered. Then she looks at me full-on and begins to talk.
“Actually, I was never a stripper before coming to Club Z.”
I let out a low noise.
“That’s fine.”
She shakes her head.
“No, wait for it. I wasn’t a stripper because working at Club Z was my first real job. Before that, I was in a psychiatric hospital because I suffered a psychotic break, and my half-brother had me involuntarily committed. But this was only after a long history of mental illness, dating all the way back to my teenage years.”
Holy shit. This is not what I expected at all, and I can’t contain my surprise. Michelle nods.
“I’m on meds now, and going to therapy regularly, but yes, I’ve suffered from mental illness for almost as long as I can remember. When I finally got out of the hospital that last time, they figured I’d stabilized. My therapist tried to talk me out of working for Club Z, but the job actually helps me a lot. It helps me deal with my emotions, and the hours are really flexible too. Working as a hostess has actually helped me open up and take a second shot at life.”
I’m still stunned, but at the same time, I’m impressed too because this amazing woman has been through so much, and yet survived. After all, being committed by your family couldn’t have been fun, but Michelle fought through and found herself after surviving what must have been Hell on Earth.
I shake my head.
“It’s fine, honey. What’s important is that you’re stable and healthy now, and if you say you are, then I know you are. In my time on the job, I’ve seen countless people fight mental illness, and I think one of the hardest things is how they’re stigmatized. But mental illness isn’t any different from a physical injury and you just have to keep at it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, and I’m certainly not embarrassed to be with you, even knowing that,” I saw in a low voice. “I’m proud of you, Michelle.”
