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Chapter 9
JUST LIKE SOPHIA PREDICTED, OUR VIEWERSHIPnumbers shoot up for Saturday night’s episode. I’m glad that our plan worked, but some part of me can’t help but wonder if it was all worth it. If people weren’t paying attention to me after watching the first two episodes of the show, they definitely are now. I could just be paranoid, but I swear more and more people have been staring at me while I ride the bus.
On one hand, all this attention is nice. This is what I’ve always wanted, after all, isn’t it? To be “recognized” as a celebrity. And although I have caught a few fans glaring at me from time to time, most of the people I’ve actually interacted with have been really nice, at least to my face. Fans of the show—okay, mostly of Bryan—occasionally stop me on the street to ask for autographs. But only because I’m “the girl Bryan Yoon is dating.”
On set, I continue my usual routine of burying all my anxieties and feelings deep inside as we shoot our next scenes.But after a certain point, even that doesn’t work. One scene is supposed to be a really easy and quiet classroom moment between Bryan and me in which Sora just says no when Hyun asks whether or not she remembers the past like he does.
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t get myself to focus.
After my second missed cue of the day, Director Cha angrily yells, “Cut! Hana-ssi, where is your head right now? Are you going to endanger our entire show with your forgetfulness?”
I wince at his harsh words, but he’s right. At the rate I’m messing up, we’re going to get dangerously behind schedule again.
“Sorry!” I say with a bow at the crew’s general direction. “I’ll do my best this time around.”
The director lets out a satisfied grunt.
I take a deep breath and focus on Bryan’s eyes. They’re familiar, and looking at them helps ground me a bit.
Surprisingly, instead of being his usual stuck-up self, Bryan has been giving me a lot of space lately, occasionally even asking me if I’m okay but otherwise only speaking to me when I talk to him. It makes me wonder if he saw the comments and posts about us, too. He probably did.
When he sees me staring at him, he smiles slightly. “Come on, just tell me how hot I am. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?”
I roll my eyes, but the atypically gentle tone of his voice doesn’t escape me. It’s almost as if he said that obnoxious joke to try to get me out of my funk. And admittedly, his usual ridiculousness does help me relax a tiny bit.
Director Cha calls action again. Bryan repeats his line. “Sora-ya, are you really telling me that you don’t remember anything? Not even the slightest flash of recognition?”
This time, instead of stumbling over my lines, I give him a sharp look and say, “No, I don’t remember.”
In reality, my character has known who Hyun is all along, even before he asked her out in the schoolyard. But she’s lying to protect Hyun so the evil sorcerer who cursed the two of them in a past life doesn’t curse them again. But of course, in good ole angsty K-drama fashion, Hyun doesn’t know that. And since Sora is supposed to be a good liar, I put extra venom in my voice.
Bryan puts his acting skills in full throttle, too. His voice actually cracks as he says, “You don’t rememberanything? Not even one of the lifetimes we spent together? Surely all of that can’t just be in my imagination. I—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, cutting him off. According to the script, I’m supposed to let him finish, but this feels more natural. And the director doesn’t stop me, so I ride the moment as I continue, “You know, with final exams coming up, you should focus on studying instead of wasting my time with your delusional thinking. I have to go.”
I storm off, walking through the doorway and down the hall until Director Cha yells, “Cut! That was excellent. Well done, everyone. Let’s shoot the same thing again from Sora’s point of view.”
“Throwing in some ad lib there, huh?” Bryan says when Iwalk back to my marker. “Impressive.”
He looks genuinely proud of me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond.
Before I can get too deep into my thoughts, Director Cha yells, “Bryan, Hana, what are you doing? We’re ready to go again!”
Later that night, I’m about to collapse into my bed when I get a KakaoTalk message notification. I bolt up, hoping it’s Minjee again. But I’m surprised when I see Bryan’s name on my screen instead.
Hey, the message starts.Wanna hang out tomorrow after we’re done shooting?
A mix of confused emotions hits me when I see his text.Why does he want to hang out again when we already hung out just last week?I think back to the agreement we both signed, which explicitly stated that he doesn’t have to spend more than once a month with me off set. What is he up to now?
Admittedly, some part of medoeswant to hang out with Bryan again. Even though I’m glad we’re not actually dating, I did end up having a lot of fun with him at Lotte World. Then I immediately remember how everyone reacted to the last time we hung out, blaming me for “stealing” Bryan. I just started feeling okay again after reading all those hateful posts and comments. I don’t want to go through all that again so soon.
My palms grow sweaty just thinking about all the hate I got.
Even if I did feel okay enough to hang out with him again, it’s not like I have the time to do so. I’ve been falling behind on my coursework, and the afternoons we get off early from shooting are usually when I get caught up on everything.
Sorry, I reply.I have a lot going on right now. Let’s just hang out again next month.
Moving dots appear on my phone screen as Bryan types up a response, but then they disappear, only to reappear. I wait for him to finish and send me a new message, but he never does.
