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Chapter 25
SINCE I DON’T WANT TO RISK BEING OVERHEARDon the phone, especially by my parents, I ride the subway early the next morning to Sophia’s office before I have to get on set.
My management company looks like any old office building on the outside, but on the inside, it looks like it exists on a whole other plane thanks to its high ceilings, airy open spaces, and golden overhead lights. Every sleek white wall is covered by posters and trophies of various celebrities that the company represents. Some are stars I saw on TV ever since I was a kid, while others are from my parents’ time and beyond.
The first time I walked around this building, I felt so inspired by the posters. I relished in the fact that I belonged to the same company as so many great celebrities. But now, I feel like I’m being watched as I walk down the halls.
Sophia hugs me warmly when I enter her office, making me feel a bit better.
She shuts the door behind me and says, “Thanks for coming such a long way, Hana! What did you want to talk about? Must be important if you didn’t just want to talk about it on the phone.”
Even though I was mentally preparing myself for this the entire day, my hands still grow sweaty. There’s a huge lump in my throat, and I take a deep breath so I don’t turn around and run out the door.
I close my eyes and just spit it out. “I want to stop fake-dating Bryan. It should be okay, though, right? We haven’t gone on a date since New Year’s Eve.”
Sophia frowns. “It’s smarter, professionally at least, to keep it up. Even though it doesn’t do much anymore, a lot of the interest in the show started because of your and Bryan’s fake relationship. And a lot of the people who shipped you two provide steady viewership for the show. Hana, I definitely want the best for you, and if you’re absolutely certain that you want to stop fake-dating Bryan, I’ll help you navigate that scenario. But why the sudden change? Did something happen?”
I stare down at my feet. For a moment, I think about how much of the truth I should tell Sophia. I settle on, “I like someone. Actually like them. Things were different when I was single, but now that I’m really dating someone... fake-dating someone else feels wrong.”
Sophia sighs. She doesn’t sound like she’s sick of me, more so like she’s tired just thinking about the work that’s ahead ofher. “Okay. That’s understandable. Mr. Kim won’t be happy with our decision, but sometimes we just have to do what’s the best for ourselves.”
“If Bryan and I publicly break up before the show is over, wouldn’t that garnermoreinterest?” I suggest, finally looking up to make eye contact with Sophia. “People might watch the show out of morbid curiosity to see if they can pick up on clues about what ‘went wrong’ between us.”
Sophia purses her lips. “It’s risky, but that might work. However, if we’re not careful about how we announce it, it might also create lots of unnecessary backlash for you. The last thing you want to do is make an enemy of Bryan’s fans.”
“Can we maybe work out a joint statement with Bryan’s team?”
“Possibly. I’ll discuss it with Ms. Ahn and get back to you. Do you by any chance know if Bryan will be okay with you calling off the relationship? Have you talked about it with him yet?”
“Well, not exactly,” I admit. “But he knows I like someone else, so I think he’ll be fine with it.”
“Good to hear. Okay, I’ll keep you updated,” Sophia promises, pushing her glasses up her nose.
If there’s anyone I can trust with all this, it’s definitely her.
Sophia didn’t pry and politely refrained from asking who I’m dating, but I kind of wish she had. Her... my parents... I wish I could tell someone the truth about Minjee and me.
On my way back home from set later that evening, I think about coming out to my parents.
They lived in the States for a while before they had me, and in other states, too. Not just Florida,I think to myself.Maybe they’re more open-minded than I think they are.
But when I open the door to Mom’s smiling face and bury myself in her embrace as Dad looks happily on, I lose all my resolve. I couldn’t get through anything in my life without my parents there beside me. Even just the smallest possibility that they might not accept me for who I am makes my throat close up in fear.
“You look so tired today,” Mom says. “Is everything okay?”
Mom and I keep few secrets from each other, so it pains every fiber of my body to not tell her about what’s going on.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I lie. “I guess I’m just worn out after the shooting day.”
“Ah, things must be really getting busy in these last few episodes.” Mom gives me a sympathetic look. “Hang in there!”
“Thanks, Umma,” I say.
“Luckily, the show will finish before the first week of classes, so you should be able to go to school like normal at the beginning of the semester,” Mom continues. “Unless you want to take some more time off so you can catch a breath?”
I’m so unprepared for even the thought of going back to school that I immediately say, “Yes, please. If that’s okay? I could use a vacation.”
“That’s true,” Mom says. “I’ll contact the school and see what we can do!”
