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“What’s it doing?” I blinked, but couldn’t see anything outside the swirls of dark smoke.
“I think it’s going to try messing with our minds. Let it rain, baby.”
I reached within me, but my magic had retreated to a place I couldn’t reach. I pushed hard, digging down deeper. Out of the smoke, voices murmured, lightly at first, then louder. A cold chill skittered down my spine.
Suddenly, I was thrown back to fourth grade. Paige had been teasing Violet because Violet’s parents didn’t have a lot of money. Since she was so tiny, they bought most of her clothes from the Newcombs’ annual garage sale. Whatever Paige wore one year, Violet would wear the next, all through school.
“How does it feel to be wearing my leftovers?” Paige hissed at Violet from the seat behind her in class. “My mom says your parents smell like baloney. She gives them a deal on my stuff every year just to get them out of our garage faster.”
I hated Paige. After lunch, I snuck back into the classroom while everyone else went outside for recess. She had a brand new Burberry jacket that she’d been bragging about all week, so I took a Sharpie off the teacher’s desk and wrote “jerk” across the back in bold, blocky letters. The door creaked open and I spun around, hiding the marker behind my back.
Wes strolled in. He was one of the recess team leaders, and had probably noticed I wasn’t on the playground. He looked between me and Paige’s jacket with the kind of grin that let me know I was so busted.
“Don’t worry, Audrey.” He held out his hand for me. “I won’t tell anyone.”
I eyed him and took a step back. “Why should I believe you?”
“Because I said I won’t, so I won’t.”
Even at twelve, he was so confident, so sure of himself. He felt safe. I gave him a small smile and took his hand. He never told a soul what I did that day. It was the first time I’d ever put my trust in someone, and at nine years old, I fell a little bit in love with Wes Latham.
The smoke swirled around me. It sunk its icy claws into my mind and yanked me to a warm summer night four years ago. Where I stood just outside the gate to Seth’s backyard as Wes argued with him on the porch.
“She just opened that shop. What are you even doing with someone like that? You want bigger things.”Wes’s voice was sharp, and I felt the keen edge of it as it cut open my heart for the second time. No, no, no. I scratched at the curse, fighting its grip on my memories, soundlessly begging it to take me anywhere but here.
“Why are you saying all this shit?” Seth asked. “I thought she was your
friend.”
“You know damn well I don’t think of her as a friend.”
I dropped to a crouch, hugging my knees as the pain took a fresh hit at me. It was like I’d never left that moment. I was just going to be stuck here reliving it over and over and over again until the end of time. Curls of black smoke stroked my cheek.
“Are you going to ask her out now that I’m leaving?” The laughter in Seth’s voice stung. He hadn’t even broken up with me yet and I was already a joke to him. We’d been drifting for a while, but I never would’ve done that to him.
“Hell no,” Wes said. “I have no interest in your sloppy seconds.”
If anyone had actually heard what he’d said, all that speculation about his feelings for me would’ve died in an instant. Not only did henothave any interest in me, but the very idea of Seth thinking otherwise disgusted him. Maybe Wes wanted me now because of the magic, but desire wasn’t love. The way he spoke about me to Seth wasn’t love.
Without warning, I was shoved into the night Wes dared me to go up to the cave by myself. Images flooded my mind, choking and threatening to drown me. He had followed me to make sure I wouldn’t get hurt. I’d caught him sneaking behind the trees and told him off for thinking I couldn’t make it on my own. Secretly, I was happy I didn’t have to go up there alone. The cave always gave me the creeps, even back when it was relatively harmless.
We lay in the dead grass and stared up at the stars. I told him about the guilt I felt for not being able to mourn the parents I couldn’t remember. I shared how much I was dreading my annual visit to their empty grave the next day, where I’d pretend to be sad for my grandma’s benefit, while wondering what kind of monster I was for feeling nothing at all. He leaned up on his elbow and told me I had a good heart, but a soft one, and it made me feel bad about things I shouldn’t. He leaned in as he spoke. I thought he was going to kiss me.
I don’t know if I would’ve stopped him if he had.
“He lies. He lied then and he’s lying to you now.” The smoke hissed in my ear. “He wants your body, that’s all he’s ever wanted from you. He didn’t care about your sad little problems. You heard how he really feels about you. You’re beneath him.”
A flash of lightning cut through the sooty haze, breaking through the dark cloud that engulfed me, sending wisps of smoke in scattered directions.
“Whatever it’s telling you, don’t listen.” Wes grabbed my hand and pushed his energy into me. “Fight it. Call down the rain.”
I thought my magic had burrowed into me, out of reach, but I was the one who had spiraled. Energy thrashed and crackled above me, and I reached for it, bit by bit, dragging myself out of that pit of despair. I took hold of my powers just as the smoke enclosed Wes.
The water I’d been gathering turned to shards of ice, ripping through the smoke like nails through tissue paper. The darkness hissed as it broke apart, then reformed. I changed my ice to rain and spun my wrist until a funnel of water formed. It sucked the smoke into the whirlpool.
Wes let go of me and pushed both his palms out. Enormous bolts of green lightning struck my water funnel, electrifying it from the inside out. We pushed our hands together to squeeze it shut. The cloud of smoke pushed against our magic as we closed the top of the funnel. The electric water bubble rumbled and spun like a top, tearing up the earth as it shot out sparks of green light that bounced off trees and cut through bushes. None of it even grazed us. It was as though we were safe from each other’s powers.
The sphere of water burst open. It flowed in every direction, drowning small lifeforms and sending aftershocks of electricity coursing over the forest floor. Shoots of green grass curled back into the ground. The scent of burnt wood and sulfur stung my nostrils. When it finally settled, the smoke was gone. I wobbled and collapsed, sinking into the muddy ground. I didn’t have enough energy left for sitting up, let alone standing.
