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“You have no idea what a relief it is to see you,” Grace responded, before Eleanor could say anything more, coming forward and hugging Eleanor to her. The trembling in her friend’s body unnerved Eleanor, as did the impression that Grace’s bones were poking through her skin. It had been only a few days since they’d last seen each other and yet it felt like Grace had lost even more weight! Weight she could ill afford to lose. Grace laughed, but it was a brittle sound. “The vultures have been more relentless than ever the past few days. I miss one or two functions and suddenly everyone has a burning desire to see me at home.”
“Thank goodness for Peters,” Eleanor murmured.
A genuine smile broke out on Grace’s face, bringing back her loveliness even as she looked more delicate than before. “Yes, thanks goodness for Peters. I don’t know what I would have done without him. He’s like Cerberus guarding Hades.” She gestured around them a little wildly, as if to indicate that the house she was living in was the embodiment of Hell.
“Oh surely it can’t be that bad!”
“How would you like to be trapped in your house, unable to go out without facing public humiliation?” Grace asked, her voice snapping. She rubbed her hands over her face as Eleanor looked at her reproachfully. For all their occasional competition, they were rarely actually snappish with each other. “I’m sorry Nell… I’m just tired and upset and I shouldn’t take it out on you. I’m feeling rather… wild if you must know the truth. I truly think I must quit London and go out to the country. I’m ready to cede the field to Alex. He can have London, I don’t care anymore.”
“Grace… are you sure…” Eleanor paused, trying to think of how to phrase what she wanted to say. Somehow she didn’t think Lord Brooke would want Grace to be suffering like this, or to be driven from the social scene that she loved so much, but how could she say such a thing? “I met Lord Brooke last night,” she finally said rather tentatively. “He didn’t seem the type to… well…”
“Ah. So you spoke with him. He can be quite charming when he wants to be, can’t he?” Grace closed her eyes, leaning back against the sofa. “Did he say anything about me?”
Curiously, Eleanor watched her friend, but with her eyes closed she couldn’t tell what Grace was feeling at all. Those wonderfully expressive eyes were usually what gave away her emotions while her face was placid and neutral.
“He defended me to Edwin after I was rude to him,” Eleanor said. “He said that he admired my loyalty to you. Well, he said that he appreciates loyalty.”
“Ha,” Grace said with a snort, her eyes snapping open, bright with anger. “I’m sure he does.” Her mouth primed, tightened, and she looked away from Eleanor as if all too aware that she was showing a wealth of bitterness and hurt and she didn’t even want her best friend to see it.
“Grace… you’ve never really told me what happened between you and Alex…”
“It was too humiliating,” Grace said in a quiet voice, the anger seeming to drain out of her as she looked down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. “That’s why I never really told you.”
Reaching out, Eleanor put her hands on top of Grace’s. “Will you tell me now?”
Grace gave her a rueful smile. “You know that I married Alex at the end of my first Season and that I didn’t particularly want to be married yet.”
“I remember.” She and Grace had both had similar sentiments when it came to enjoying the social whirl, even if they’d had different reasons. Unlike Eleanor, Grace had wanted to marry for love. Eventually. Once she’d enjoyed London to the fullest.
“It was arranged.”
“I knew that too.” It was why Eleanor had never blamed Grace for her behavior. She always thought that Grace’s father should have realized his daughter would rebel in one manner or another, although she’d thought on more than one occasion that Grace had gone too far.
“My father saw me as nothing more than an item to barter,” Grace said, holding her chin up in defiance of the worth her father had placed on her. “I was useful because I could get him something he wanted. I thought that Alex at least cared for me… we weren’t in love but there was… there was potential. I thought I could come to love him and that he could come to love me. We have plenty of mutual interests. He was so attentive and charming… I enjoyed speaking with him and I found him to be quite exciting. After our wedding night and honeymoon I even thought I was falling in love with him.”
“Then what happened?” Eleanor asked, completely enthralled. This was all new information to her, as she hadn’t seen Grace until a month after she’d returned from her honeymoon and by that time her friend had already set up a separate household from her husband. She’d always assumed that Grace had been dead set against the wedding from the beginning.
The bitter twist of Grace’s mouth could have been interpreted as an attempt to smile. “I overheard a conversation he had with my father after we returned home. They were congratulating themselves on the deal they’d made with my marriage contract and their alliance. Alex said that one woman was as good as another for a wife, but at least with me he’d gotten something useful in the bargain. That’s when I knew that he didn’t care who he’d married, but the alliance with my father had gotten both of them what they wanted. No one cared what I wanted or how I felt.”
“Oh Grace…” Eleanor’s heart ached for her friend. No wonder Grace had turned so brazen and scandalous. At least Eleanor still had hope that Edwin might have emotions for her, she certainly knew that he cared for her as a person.
“It doesn’t matter,” Grace said almost fiercely. “I don’t care anymore.” But it was obvious, to Eleanor at least, that Grace did still care. That she was still hurting. That no matter how many lovers she’d had since her husband, they had not healed the wound to her pride, her self-esteem or her heart.
“Of course not,” she said, anyway. Grace could keep her pride in front of Eleanor, that was something she could give her friend at least.
More than ever she could understand Grace’s desire to leave London now that it was apparent that Alex was staying put. She could understand Grace’s animosity towards her husband. No matter how polite Alex had been last night that didn’t mean that he was right for Grace. Unfortunately his attitude was not uncommon amongst the ton. There would have been many women who would be willing to marry such a man for his title and money, but not Grace. While she might seem cold and hard on the outside, her inner core had always hidden a soft romantic.
“You want him to divorce you,” she said suddenly, the revelation slamming into her. It explained so much. Grace could have chosen any other kind of rebellion against her father and her husband, but she’d deliberately chosen something to shame Alex, something that would mak
e him want to set her aside. Something that would allow him to set her aside. It was very like Eleanor’s original plan for dealing with Edwin, although of course the motivations were completely different.
“Yes.” Grace gripped Eleanor’s hand, giving her a sad little smile. The dark smudges beneath her eyes looked more like bruises than ever. There was a vulnerability to her that Eleanor had never seen before. Then she shored it up again, regaining control over her features, shutting down her emotions behind a cold mask.
Eleanor wondered if that was what she would look like if she discovered that Edwin didn’t love her. If she would use those same defense mechanisms of shutting out the world and pushing away her emotions.
“I once thought he might divorce me and marry someone more willing,” Grace said. She laughed softly and shook her head. “Of course, the most likely candidate is married now herself.”
“Who?” Eleanor asked. She didn’t really care but she welcomed the change of topic. Stepping around the conversational minefield surrounding Grace’s marriage and the details she’d just confided to Eleanor was daunting.
