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“King go home?” I asked.
Zag nodded. “Yeah. I thought if we get drunk enough, we can toilet paper his house and then come back here.”
“You really think toilet papering King and Meg’s house is the best idea?” I laughed. That sounded like the worst idea to me.
Zig and Zag chuckled.
“I think he’s getting a little soft. It’s been months since we pulled a prank on him. It’s for his own good as much as it’s just fun for us.” Zag shrugged. “He’ll thank us.”
“Eventually,” Zig muttered.
“I think I’ll just hang here.” It was going on ten and I was ready to turn in for the night. Slider had told us we were going to be heading over to Wyndemere around eight, and I didn’t want to move a bunch of shit hungover.
“Come on,” Zig nagged. “How am I supposed to have fun with just Zag? He’s lame.”
“Fuck you,” Zag shot back. “Everyone knows I’m the fun one. You’re the lame one.”
This was a common argument between the two. They each thought the other was lame when they were both dumbasses who were equally fun in reality. I had more stories than I could remember that involved Zig and Zag. “You’re both lame, so go get drunk together and go toilet paper King’s house.”
It was a mistake for them to do it, but I knew it was going to be fucking hilarious to watch the aftermath.
Zag crossed his arms over his chest. “You need to come because we need a fucking DD.”
“Walk,” I suggested. “It’s not even a mile. You guys can stumble home from King’s easily. I’ve already been drinking.”
“Where is the brotherhood here?” Zig asked. “I thought we always had each other’s backs. We’re five drinks to your three, Pie. We need you and you’re not going to be there for us?”
I rolled my eyes and turned off the TV. “We’re going for two drinks, that’s it.” I was actually only on my first beer and not feeling even a slight buzz.
Zig smiled triumphantly and jogged behind the bar. He bent over and lifted a huge pack of toilet paper over his head. “Let’s fucking go!” he cheered.
“I’m not too sure about this, guys.” I was okay with Zig and Zag toilet papering King’s house when I wasn’t with them. I didn’t want to be a part of this. “How about you leave the toilet paper here, and we just go for drinks?” I suggested. They could toilet paper King’s house another night when I wasn’t with them.
“Too late,” Zig called. He hoisted the toilet paper onto his shoulder and strode to the door. “Your ass is the DD and we’re toilet papering King’s house. Let’s ride!” He gave a scream into the night air and his laughter drifted into the night.
“You know you gotta come, man. What else are you going to do on a Sunday night?” Zag grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the couch.
“Uh, maybe go to bed? Try to get a full night’s sleep?” You know, what normal people did.
Zag scoffed. “That is boring as hell. Besides, we’re still young. We don’t need a full night’s sleep. Give me four hours, and I’m good to go.”
That wasn’t a lie, but I wasn’t up to babysitting Zig and Zag. “Two drinks, we hit King’s house, and then we’re back to the clubhouse. Yeah?”
Zag smiled wide and pushed me out the door. “Of course. I might not even have two drinks.”
This was a mistake.
A huge mistake that was going to make for a great story to tell.
Eventually.
*
Chapter Five
Bread and no pie…
Bristol
