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“Hey, buddy.” Tears well in my eyes as I bend down and hug him tightly. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too! Where have you been?” he asks as we part. “You haven’t been over for dinner, and Daddy hasn’t shown me any pictures of your gnomes.”

“I’ve been busy, kiddo,” I grate out against the emotion clogging my throat. “But I do have a picture to show you.” Reaching behind me, I grab my phone from the back pocket of my jean shorts and open it up to the picture I snapped yesterday in anticipation of his question.

“Why are they apart?” Oliver asks as we stare at the picture of the gnomes that are separated on either side of my office door now.

“I don’t know. Maybe they decided to spread out from each other, take a break and protect themselves for a while.”

Oliver’s face scrunches up. “That doesn’t make sense though. They would work better as a team if they were together.”

“Yeah, they would.” Ethan’s deep voice above me interrupts our conversation as I stand to take him in. He’s so handsome, it literally makes my heart hurt. Under the bill of his ball cap, his eyes burn a hole through me, almost as if he’s mad that I’m here or that he wants me just as badly as I want him.

My body hasn’t quite gotten the memo yet that there will be no more physical interaction with this man, but I’m working on it—slowly.

“You played such a great game, though, Oliver. I can’t believe the season is over.”

“I’m gonna miss my teammates,” he says. “But I do see some of them at school, so we can still play together. It’s nice that I get to see them every day.” And then his thoughts switch gears like the flick of a switch. “The play is this week. Are you still coming?”

“Yes, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“See? I told you she’d be there, Oliver,” Ethan confirms.

“Are you coming to get gelato with us too?” Oliver looks up at me, his eyes wide with anticipation. I cast a glance in Ethan’s direction to gauge his reaction, but he doesn’t give me any direction.

“Not today, buddy. I have somewhere I have to be, but I wouldn’t have missed your game. I’m so proud of you.” Giving him one more hug, I stand and then prepare to leave. Lisa takes Oliver back to his team, and I begin to walk away, but I feel someone grab my hand before I get too far.

“Amelia, wait.”

“Please don’t do this here, Ethan.”

“I just wanted to say thank you… for showing up.”

“I told you I would. I don’t break my promises, especially to your son.”

“I appreciate that, truly. But how much longer are you going to show up?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, today it was his game, next week it’s the play, but after that?”

“Well, I guess it just depends on what he asks me to go to. I love your kid, so if he wants me there for anything, I’ll be there.”

“Amelia, how can you not see that we’re supposed to be together?” he whispers, running his thumb over the top of my hand.

“I could ask you the same question, Ethan,” I reply, retracting my hand from his grip. And then I walk away, leaving another piece of my heart behind with him.

* * *

“Okay. Her hair is brushed, she’s wearing something besides sweatpants, and she’s on time. Those are all good signs.”

I take my seat at our table at Frankie’s as Penelope assesses my appearance out loud. Reaching for my mimosa, I take a large drink before I reply. “I’m here, and yes, I may look all right on the outside, but I am far from okay, you guys.” The threat of tears comes forward, which shouldn’t surprise me since I basically feel like I could cry all day right now.

Charlotte rubs my back with her hand since she’s sitting next to me. “Talk to us. Tell us what’s going on.”

I blow out a breath. “I went to Oliver’s soccer game yesterday because I promised him that I would go to all of his games, and you know how I feel about keeping my word,” I explain to my girls as they all nod. “Well, Ethan’s mom came up and talked to me, asked me not to give up on him. But it’s easier just to be mad at him than keep a sliver of hope alive inside.” I reach up and rub my chest right over my heart as the tears cloud my vision. “My heart just aches, you guys. Constantly. Every time I see him at work, or he pleads with me to reconsider. I just want to scream and cry.”

“He asked you to reconsider what?” Noelle asks.

“Yesterday, he grabbed my arm before I could walk away completely and asked me why I couldn’t see that we belonged together.”

“And what did you say back?”

“I told him that I could ask him the same question.”

Penelope claps her hands. “Nice comeback.”

“I thought so too, because it’s true. If he would only get past his fear, we could work through it.”

“Men and their freaking fear,” Noelle speaks with a roll of her eyes. “I’ve read so many books where men do stupid shit out of fear, and you just want to slap them upside the head, shake them by the shoulders, and tell them to stop letting their lives pass them up because they’re freaking scared. And the reality is, men in real life do the same shit.”

“Believe me, I want to. But I don’t want him to change his mind because I convince him to. He has to arrive at that realization on his own. And his mother seems to think he will.”

“Well, she knows him better than anyone. Do you think she’s right?”

“I don’t know. I want to believe it, but a part of me won’t let myself. The thing is, I have to be near him again this Friday at Oliver’s play.” I told the girls about his play once Oliver told me about it and how he’s so excited to be a doctor.

“That’s this week? Isn’t the newspaper dinner this week too?” Penelope asks, opening her phone and looking at her calendar. “You girls and all of your dinners…I can’t keep up.”

Last week was Charlotte’s awards dinner, where she was recognized as a Mover and Shaker in Los Angeles by the mayor. Naturally, we all attended, but I was in such a daze, and I feel bad that I wasn’t more mentally present.

“No, it’s next Tuesday.”

Penelope nods. “Okay, that’s what I have. Forgive me, but there’s a lot going on at work right now, and I’m having a hard time keeping everything straight. You should see the number of emails waiting in my inbox when this brunch is over.”

“You girls will still be there, right?”

Charlotte scoffs. “Um, duh. As if we would miss it.”

I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. Nothing seems to bring me an insurmountable amount of joy lately, not like Oliver and Ethan did. “Okay.”

Penelope winces. “God, Amelia. You’re like oozing sadness and depression right now, and I don’t like it.”

“Well, this is the Amelia you get right now,” I reply, fanning my hand down my body.

“Your sunshine is gone. You’re the one always looking for the bright side in everything, the voice of reason for the rest of us. It’s like a piece of my friend is missing.”

Her words bring on more tears. “Well, it does feel like a piece of me is missing. I can’t even laugh right now, guys. I tried watching a comedy special last night on Netflix to take my mind off things, and I barely laughed. Although, the comedian was talking about all of her horrible dating stories, and all it did was remind me that my life will be back to that point one day again—going on terrible first dates, wondering if I’ll ever find a man that I feel as strongly about as I felt about Ethan.”

Noelle grabs my hand. “Maybe you and I can take a stand together—no more bad dating. Come to the sperm bank with me, go shopping for a man without ever having to talk to him, and let’s have babies together.” Her eyes light up with excitement.

“I’m not quite at that point yet, but I will definitely keep it in mind.”

Penelope interjects. “Are you still doing your pole dancing classes?”

Shaking my head, I reach for my drink again. “I haven’t been in two weeks. I should go because exercise is a natural antidepressant and helps regulate anxiety, which I have a ton of at the moment. But all it does is remind me of the dance I did for Ethan a few weeks ago, which just makes me cry again.”

Her brows lift. “You stripped for him? Spun around on a pole, ripped off your clothes, and he still won’t marry you?” She shakes her head. “What the fuck is wrong with him?” And her surprise turns to irritation almost instantly. “Shit like that makes me want to send him three hundred of something again. What could I send?” She taps her chin in thought before opening up her phone to search for ideas. “Stink bombs? Spring-loaded glitter bombs? Penis gummies?” She keeps scrolling through her phone as I let out a small chuckle.

“I know. Even the ability to spin on a stripper pole isn’t enough to make a man fall in love and want to marry you anymore, ladies. And if that’s the case, then I guess we’re doomed from the start.”

We share a laugh, and then Charlotte clears her throat. “Well, I have some news, but I’m kind of scared to share it right now.”

“Why?” Noelle asks.

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