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“Harrison, I know how this place can feel. But a lot of that negativity’s in our heads. We keep it alive, and we don’t have to. It doesn’t have to be so hard I’ve realized.”
“It’s not that easy to shut off. Not for me.”
“I know.” She crossed the kitchen and mimicked his position, hips leaning into the counter so they stood side by side. “But what if it’s our turn at simple? What if, for once, we worked together so we didn’t have to fight as hard?”
“Erin, I don’t want to own a hardware store.”
“Then make it an office or something else. The mayor had another tower installed and our Wi-Fi’s up to three bars now. The whole world’s going virtual. You can commute on days that you absolutely need to be in the city for work and stay here the rest of the time. Honestly, Harrison, what can New York offer you that Jasper Falls can’t?”
“Ambiguity.”
After their talk, Erin disappeared to take a bath. Harrison tarped the hall and started sanding the spackle and prepping the paint. While alone, he once more ventured toward his room, but the moment he opened the door a sort of crippling paralysis set in. He couldn’t do it.
Shutting the door, he set his mind to finishing the wall. Maybe in time those memories would fade. But, for now, they seemed preserved in a time capsule—too many sensory triggers to process while sober.
It pissed him off that a vacant room could fill him with such boyish fears. But not enough for him to face down those fears. And that was another thing he didn’t want to examine too closely.
CHAPTER 23
“What’s up your ass?” Mariella asked as her brother glared at the cutting board where she chopped cucumbers.
“Nothing. Erin’s brother’s on my nerves.”
At the mention of Harrison her hand trembled. “Is he still here?”
Every morning she checked the hotel logs to see if he checked out, but today she’d called out of work again to help her mother get her father back home and settled, so she hadn’t been able to look.
Giovanni stole a slice of cucumber and popped it in his mouth. Then he went to the fridge and rummaged around. “Where the hell’s the salami?”
“Mom threw it out. Daddy’s on a strict diet.”
“So we all have to suffer?” He shut the fridge and stole another slice of cucumber.
“Yes, Giovanni, it’s all about you and how we can make you suffer.” She tossed the cucumber slices into a bowl and moved onto quartering cherry tomatoes. “What did Harrison do?”
“Nothing. As usual. The guy just shows up, sends a bunch of mixed signals, then takes off. I’d be surprised if he sticks around to the end of the week. I just know he’s going to screw Erin over and dump her with the sale of the store.”
Her hand trembled, making it difficult to slice the tomatoes. “You think he’ll leave this week?”
He studied her. “I told you to be careful with him, Mar. I don’t know why you let him do this to you.”
“I didn’t let him do anything. As a matter of fact, I told him the other night that it was over.”
“You broke up with him?”
“We were never together.”
“You know what I mean.”
She switched to cutting onions so she had an excuse for her burning eyes. “I’ll never be enough to make him stay.”
“Bullshit. Don’t blame yourself for his inadequacies.”
“Harrison’s too good of a guy to spend his life alone. Eventually he’ll meet the right woman, and he’ll settle down, but I’m certain I’m not that woman.”
“I can’t listen to this.” He went back to the fridge and continued rummaging through the shelves, searching for something to munch on. “Why do girls always think the issue is with them? Did you ever stop to think you might be too good for him? And are you telling me we don’t have any cheese, either?”
“Didn’t you eat dinner?”
“No. Erin got upset, and I barely ate half a taco. I’m starving.”
She shoved him aside and moved the jar of pickled eggs, revealing a bag from the deli. “Put it back when you’re done.”
He laughed, unwrapping the prosciutto and shoveling a piece in his mouth. “I knew Nona would have something hidden.”
“Just don’t tell Dad.”
He returned to his seat. “You need a normal guy who doesn’t have any baggage.”
She arched a brow, watching her brother moan over the cold cuts as if the meat were a beautiful woman falling onto his tongue. “A normal guy? Hmm. What’s that like?”
He stilled, realizing he was making a spectacle. “What?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re making sex noises over meat.”
“So? I like food. That’s not baggage.”
“Harrison’s baggage is the same as Erin’s.”
“Harrison is Erin’s baggage. At least she tries to deal with it. He just runs.”
She didn’t know the extent of their upbringing, but she attributed a great deal of Harrison’s issues to his past. Their mom abandoned them when they were both very young. She couldn’t imagine growing up without a mother, but also growing up knowing the one woman meant to love them unconditionally had left and never tried to contact them again.
