AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You were what I wanted then.”
She shook her head. “We’ve talked about this. You wanted me, but only if I’d give up my life here for you. Only if I’d come with you. I didn’t want to travel like you did.”
Bitterness swelled in his chest. “I wanted you enough to give that up.”
“And I loved you too much to expect you to give up anything to be with me.”
His noise was one of complete frustration. “You would have been worth the sacrifice, believe me.”
“I didn’t want to be a sacrifice.”
He spoke as though she hadn’t. “But you were engaged to Edwards. You weren’t willing to give that up. I left you because you told me to. Because you said you wanted to go through with the bloody wedding.”
“I felt obliged,” she said stiffly. “It was the worst decision of my life.”
“Thank God,” he muttered, his eyes searching hers. “I have wanted to hear you say that for years.”
“I came to tell you all this in Rio, remember.”
“The worst decision of my life,” he retorted with a face that showed remorse. “No, leaving you free to marry Edwards without making a fuss was that. But being too damned proud to see you in Rio … That was fool hardy in the extreme. I was hurt, and I was angry. I had never been in love before. I thought … arrogantly, I suppose … that when I fell in love, it would be easy. That it would be smooth sailing. I imagined you would be … thrilled and that you would give up everything to be with me.”
“It’s not that easy. This place isn’t just a home to me. It’s not just a vineyard. This is the place my mum is. This is … home. I can never leave it.”
“I understand that now,” he squeezed her ankle reassuringly. “And I’m not asking you to leave it. I want to stay here with you. What you and I meant to each other is still there. No amount of time or stupid misunderstandings could change that. I felt it the first moment I saw you. I thought I wouldn’t. I thought we were done. But we’ll never be done, will we?”
She swallowed. “Please, don’t,” she said desperately. “You’re making this too hard for me.”
“What am I making hard for you.” He moved to crouch beside her, kneeling on the floor so that he could grip her hands in his. It was then that he noticed she was crying. “Ava, please, my darling love, please don’t cry. This is happiness. I thought all hope was lost for us, and now we have a child together, and we still love one another. That love? That very same love that threatened to blow my soul apart three years ago is now the very thing I cling to for meaning and existence. I love you, Ava. This is the best feeling I have ever known. Why do you fight this?”
“Because!” She pulled her hands away and fumed at the injustice of not being able to stand up and pace the room, as she truly wished. “I’m still not going to be what you want.”
“I told you; I want you. Milly is the icing on the cake. Any other children, if you were to change your mind, would simply complete my happiness.”
“But without other children? You’re not complete?”
He groaned. “You are deliberately misunderstanding me. If it were just you and me, I would be happy. I wish we could go back in time and undo the last three years of distance. That we have Milly is a miracle.” He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed them gently. “I want what you want. More children, or not. It doesn’t matter to me.”
She stared at him, as if trying to assess the truth of his words. She nervously weighed up the sentence that she heard over and over again in her mind. “I have to tell you something.” She pulled her hands away and clasped them in her lap. She couldn’t look at his face to see his reaction.
“Please, Ava, tell me. Let us have no more secrets, only truth.”
It reminded her of what he’d said on his first day back in the Valley. She nodded slowly. “I will never have another child.” She heard his intake of breath and before he could say something that would make everything worse, she hurried on. “I can never have another child.”
That silenced him. Perplexed, he watched the emotions dance across her face, and waited for her to continue.
“Everything with Milly was fine. My pregnancy was textbook. Until it wasn’t.”
“You had her early,” h
e prompted, when she was quiet for longer than suited him.
“Yes, yes. I …” Her face drained of colour at the memory. “I thought I was losing her.” She closed her eyes. “There was so much blood. Liv and Soph drove me to the hospital, and it was the most terrified I’ve ever been.” Her breathing was shallow as she remembered the details. “I had a rare medical condition that caused massive blood loss.” She spoke matter-of-factly now. “There was nothing for it but to operate.”
“You mean she was born via a caesarean?” He prompted, thinking of the fine pale scar he’d noticed on her belly and foolishly not questioned.
“Yes.”
“But Ava, lots of women have babies this way and go on to have other children afterwards.”
