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As Fancy drove home after her evening with Case, she reminisced about the wonderful moments they’d shared. The amazing meal at Le Bijoux. Sweet treats at Savannah’s Candy Kitchen. And the glorious horse and carriage ride through the city. And a magical, wondrous kiss. She knew she’d be thinking about that kiss for quite some time.
Fancy let herself in to the house, walking softly so she didn’t wake up her parents. They went to bed each evening at ten o’clock sharp. Only a soft light emanated from the kitchen. As she walked past the darkened living room, she practically jumped out of her skin when her mother appeared in the entryway.
“Where have you been?” she asked, her b
rows drawn together in a frown. “I’ve been waiting up for you.” Her mother flipped the switch on the lamp, bathing them in light.
“You didn’t have to wait up. I was out with a friend,” she answered. “I told you that I had dinner plans.”
Her mother frowned. “A male friend?”
Fancy let out a huff of frustration. “Mama. Why are you grilling me? When I lived in New York City I wasn’t exactly answering to you. I’m a big girl.”
“I just don’t want you to make any more mistakes,” she said in a sharp tone. “You’ve certainly had your fair share.”
Fancy let out a sigh. She’d been on cloud nine after her date with Case. Now, with a few simple words, her mother was ruining everything.
Dear Lord, she prayed. Give me strength. I love Mama and respect her, but I can’t abide her sniping about me. I’ve had enough criticism to last a lifetime.
“Is that how you think of me? As someone who is bound to make mistakes?” Fancy asked.
“I didn’t say that, but if you hadn’t gotten mixed up with that Marc Cabron character, you’d be married right now to the man of your dreams.” Her mother folded her arms across her chest and shook her head in a mournful manner.
All of a sudden, Fancy had endured enough of her mother’s criticism. It felt as if something snapped inside her. After a lifetime of listening to it without complaining, something broke inside her.
“Mama. That’s enough!” she cried out.“I’m tired of you rubbing my nose in my mistakes. And of constantly reminding me that I lost Case. Don’t you think I’m reminded of that every single day? Have you ever for one single moment imagined how badly I suffered because of it? Do you even care?”
Her mother let out a choked sound. Her eyes bulged and she raised a hand to her throat. “Do I care? Is that a serious question?”
“Very serious,” Fancy said, glaring at her mother. “Because at twenty-eight years old I shouldn’t wonder about how you feel about me. I should know by now that you love me. But I don’t. All I know for certain is that you’re constantly disappointed in me.”
June’s features crumpled. “Of course I love you. How could you doubt that?”
“Because you never tell me, Mama. And you’re always criticizing me. It’s always been about my looking perfect and not doing anything to mess up my chances of becoming Mrs. Case Duvall. I’m human. I made a huge mistake that cost me everything. And I needed you to just be my mother instead of telling me how wrong I was.” Fancy began sobbing quietly as all the pain from the past came crashing over her. So many times she’d wanted her mother to wrap her arms around her and cover her with love. Instead, she’d always been subjected to a lecture about her failings. It seared her insides.
Fancy felt her mother’s hand patting her on the shoulder. “You’re my world, Fancy. My everything. I never meant to make you feel this way.”
Fancy looked into her mother’s blue eyes, which were almost identical to her own. They were now awash in tears. She couldn’t remember a single time in her life when she’d seen Mama cry. It was shocking and moving. Fancy heard the shuffling of footsteps. Her father was standing a few feet away from them, listening quietly to every word.
“You know how my own Mama was with me, Fancy. She was abusive and cruel. There was no doubt in my mind that she never loved me. Never told me she did a single time.” Her mother’s small frame shuddered. “I never knew how to put it into words, Fancy. It didn’t come naturally to me. The only way I knew how to raise you was to make sure you had tough skin. I’m sorry if it made you feel unloved. Because the truth is, there’s no one I love more than you.”
“Oh, Mama,” Fancy cried out, tears streaming down her face. “I would rather have heard you tell me that you loved me instead of hearing I was beautiful.”
“Well, they’re both true,” June said. “The only thing my own mother liked about me were my looks. I repeated the cycle without even knowing it. I grew up knowing that my looks were my value.”
“And you passed it on to me,” Fancy said with a sigh.
June nodded somberly. “I wanted Case to be your husband because he’s a fine young man. I knew he could give you the life you deserve. No parent ever wants to see their child stumble and struggle.”
Fancy watched as her father walked toward them and reached for her mother’s hand. “Your mother has loved you, Fancy, the only way she knew how. It hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been real. And with every tear you’ve ever shed, she’s cried right along with you. You just didn’t see her tears.”
“Oh, Mama.” Fancy reached out and wrapped her arms around her mother. They clung tightly to each other for a few moments. Both of them were sniffling and crying.
“I’m sorry, Fancy,” her mother repeated over and over again. “God blessed us when He brought you to us.” They pulled apart from each other, but continued to hold each other’s hands.
“He sure did,” her father chimed in, placing a kiss on June’s cheek. “We were only given one child, but you were everything to us.” He winked at her. “You still are.”
Fancy’s heart felt so full at this moment. It was clear from her mother’s heartfelt words that she deeply loved and adored Fancy. It was amazing how much had been lost in translation over the years. Fancy had always interpreted her mother’s harsh words and criticism as a lack of love for her. In reality, June Tolliver hadn’t been taught how to express love. Without meaning to, she had passed certain things on to Fancy, such as the emphasis on outward beauty rather than accomplishments. Thankfully, Fancy now knew that her mother’s love for her was wider than an ocean.
