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But you want to know her. Badly. That was his truth.
“Now that I’m a mother, I get it. I hope Ella always wants to reach out to me, no matter how old she gets.” Hope’s voice sounded wistful.
“I’m sure she will,” Grayson said. He jutted his chin in Ella’s direction. “You seem devoted to her.”
“I am. A very wise person once said you never regret the children you have…only the ones you didn’t have.” Hope locked eyes with Grayson. He felt something floating in the air between them. “I never thought for a single second not to have her, but in doing so, I faced a lot of judgment. I judged myself as well. It went against everything I believed in. It’s been the hardest path I’ve walked down in my life, but it’s been the most rewarding.” Hope pressed a kiss against Ella’s temple. Her daughter giggled and tugged at a few strands of Hope’s hair.
“That makes you a very brave woman, Hope Matthews. A warrior. A woman who walks in faith not by sight.”
Hope’s eyes widened, and for the first time in this conversation she seemed to reel herself back in.
“I-I have to go,” Hope said in a breathless voice. “I need to go put Ella down for her nap.” She rushed past him, acting as if she couldn’t wait to get away from him. It was strange. A few minutes ago Hope had seemed to be enjoying their conversation. He wondered if he’d said something to remind her that he was the enemy.
“I’ll see you around, Hope,” Grayson said, noticing the way she nervously glanced over her shoulder to look in his direction.
“Bye,” she said with a wave, before turning away and beating a fast path across the beach toward Savannah House and the guest cottage. Grayson watched the duo until they reached the boundaries of the resort’s property. From this vantage point he could see Hope and Ella disappear into their home. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt a little ache inside him. There was something about Hope that called to him, and it drove him crazy that they were on opposite sides of such an important issue as his ties to Savannah House and Hattie Alexander.
Somehow, Grayson was going to find a way to bridge the gap. Something told him Hope would be worth the effort.
**
As soon as Hope got Ella settled down in her crib for a nap, she made her way over to the window facing the beach. From this distance she could see Grayson, although not very well. She let out a sigh. Her exit from the beach had been an act of self-preservation. Grayson Holloway was dangerous to her equilibrium. Every time she was in his presence, Hope ended up feeling jittery and knocked off her feet.
She wrapped her arms around her middle as she watched him gather up his surf board and head towards the parking lot. There had been no point in telling him that receiving his flowers had made her day. She didn’t want him to know he’d picked her favorites. Or that she’d placed the blooms in her bedroom so she could be surrounded by their fragrant scent. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Grayson that for the first time in a long time she’d felt like a woman. For so long now she’d only felt like Ella’s mother, which was a beautiful thing, but not enough to make her feel separate and apart from her daughter. More than anything, a person needed to feel special in their own right. Sending her flowers might be viewed as something simple, but for Hope it was a reminder of her femininity, of the idea that a man might find her attractive.
Because Lord knows she found Grayson attractive. He was the most visually appealing man she’d ever laid eyes on. His face flashed into her mind. He had good looks for days.
Traitor. A voice buzzed in her ear. Here she was fantasizing about Grayson when he represented a very real threat against her ownership of Savannah House. What difference did it make what he looked like? Any attraction she felt toward him wouldn’t amount to a hill of beans in the scheme of things. He was off-limits. She cringed thinking how her friends would react if they knew her innermost thoughts. They would be horrified.
Truthfully, she was horrified with herself. Hadn’t the past served as a bruising lesson about following the dictates of her heart? Ross had shown her that men couldn’t be trusted. He had used her, told her a pack of lies, then tossed her aside when he’d found out she was pregnant with Ella. Pain seared through her as the memories of her humiliation washed over her. She shook her head as Grayson got into the driver’s side of his car and drove off down the beach road.
It didn’t matter what she might be feeling toward Grayson Holloway. Of all the men in the world she could potentially find herself attracted to, he was at the absolute bottom of the barrel. Her life was complicated enough. She didn’t need to stir up a hornet’s nest by developing any feelings for the mysterious Grayson. Her five best friends in the world might never forgive her if she headed down that path. Those women meant the world to her—way too much to jeopardize it for a charismatic stranger who was clearly up to no good.
Lord, please give me strength. I’m not sure what’s going on with me, but Grayson Holloway is becoming too much of a temptation. Please don’t let me fall down the rabbit hole again, Lord. Been there, done that. I don’t believe in making the same mistake twice.
“The good thing about life is that we’re afforded many opportunities to grow and change. It’s limitless.” Tanner Holloway
Chapter Four
Hope navigated her way through the mid-morning traffic in downtown Savannah as Christmas music blared from the speakers. It didn’t matter to her that Christmas wasn’t happening for another seven months or so. She loved the joyful, upbeat tunes and the promise of white powdery snow falling just in time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. It never snowed in Savannah, but she kept hope alive.
She giggled as she sang along to “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” Hope reached out one hand to take a sip of her coffee. Last night had been a bit of a bear, with Ella waking up three times during the night. She hadn’t been feverish or ill in any way, but Hope had been concerned nevertheless. Perhaps she was going through a growth spurt. Hope tried to reassure herself with that thought.
Hope needed to be on her A game today. She, accompanied by Callie, would be attending the mediation meeting this morning. Due to other commitments, it wasn’t practical to show up in full force. On a good day it was near impossible for Morgan to leave her kitchen. And with a full house of guests to feed, it didn’t make sense to place it all on her sous-chef, Henry.
She looked pretty spiffy, if she did say so herself. Right before leaving the cottage she’d surveyed herself in the full-length mirror with a critical eye. She had chosen to dress in a stylish pants suit—the only one she owned. It was a nice charcoal gray color and she’d purchased it on sale at an expensive shop in Savannah. At the time she hadn’t been certain if it was something she would ever wear. Thank the Lord for small mercies! It had been a nice feeling to reach into her closet and pull out something attractive and business-like. It made her feel way more accomplished than she was in actuality. In many ways it served as a suit of armor.
Her cell phone began buzzing and she hit the Bluetooth function on her dashboard.
“Hello,” she answered, noticing Callie’s number on the display. The meeting was in ten minutes. Callie was probably wondering about her whereabouts.
“Hey Hope, it’s me. Callie.”
“Hey, Callie. Where are you? I’m outside the building just looking for a parking spot.”
Callie let out a groan on the other end of the line. “I’m so sorry, Hope. I’m as sick as a dog. Jax is going to run me into the doctor’s office.” Hope could hear the tension emanating from Callie’s voice.
“Oh no. What’s going on?” Hope asked, immediately thinking about the baby. She prayed it was nothing serious.
