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I turned my back on him, “I said leave.”
My shoulders shook as I cried, misery permeating every square inch of my body. I had to push Peter away. He wouldn’t be hurt because of me.
He spun me around, his lips descending on mine, his kiss desperate and fierce, “I know what you’re doing. I’m not going to be that easy to get rid of.” He crushed me to his chest, “There’s no place on this earth that means anything to me without you there.”
My head fell into his neck as I clutched his shirt with my fingers in desperation, “You have to go Pete. You have to get out of here. It’s your ticket to freedom and I won’t allow you to throw away all of your dreams because of me.”
He stiffened, “You’d be surprised what my dreams are Rae.”
My head rose, my heart in agony. I wanted him to stay, but it was so selfish and unfair, “You’ve wanted to join the military since you were a kid and fly planes. I’m not going to let you give that up.”
“You don’t understand baby,” his hands rested on my cheeks, his thumbs brushing the hot tears aside. “I love you, Rae.”
“I’m sorry Pete,” I replied in anguish. “But I don’t love you, so you’re better off leaving. Really. It saves you from more heartache. I was going to tell you tomorrow anyway.”
He blanched, a look of intense anguish washing over his face, and then his eyes narrowed, “Don’t do this Rae.”
My eyes searched his, begged him to believe me, to walk away, and never look back. We both knew if he stayed here because of me he was never going to leave and fulfill his dreams. He would resent me for this, one day in the future. I couldn’t live with that.
Wasn’t this love? Pushing someone away so they could have their best chance, even if it broke your heart in the process? “It’s ok Pete,” I kissed him softly. “You should go. He won’t come back tonight.”
“Do you think I’m stupid?” he growled. “I’m not going anywhere.” Marching across the room, he made sure the door was locked again and shoved my desk across the floor until it covered the frame completely. “He’s not coming back in, even if I have to block your door every damn night and stand guard. So don’t pull any more bullshit, Rae. I mean it.”
My chin lowered to my chest, and I sighed, “I don’t want you to hate or resent me.”
He tugged me toward him, his arms encircling my waist, “Baby, you still don’t get it.” He kissed my lips tenderly and sank down on the bed, surrounding me in his embrace. “You’re my Rae of sunshine. Lie about loving me again, and I’m going to spank you.”
I sat up, indignant, “What the –”
He laughed, “Rae, I’m just teasing.” Maybe it was his way of diffusing some of the tension we felt.
I settled back onto his chest, “Very funny.”
“You know I’m telling you the truth, right?”
“About being your ray of sunshine?” I yawned. Sudden fatigue washed over me. I felt drained, both emotionally and physically.
“Yeah,” he whispered, squeezing my back as his arms wrapped around me. “You always have been. Both to me and your dad. Go ahead and sleep. I’m fine.”
“Pete?” I yawned again.
“Yeah?”
r /> “What if he comes back?” A tremble coursed through my body, bone-deep, and I was afraid.
“He won’t tonight, but just in case I’ll stay awake the rest of the night.”
That didn’t seem fair, “You need rest.”
“I can take a nap later. With you.”
“Peter.”
He laughed lightly, “Go to sleep baby.”
“Pete?”
“Yeah, honey?”
