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“We met Ava when we found her on the street outside our clinic setup. She was thin, pale, and very sick. We brought her in and started treating her. She got better. She was so smart and funny. She wrote stories and she’d sit next to the other sick kids and read to them or tell them jokes. She had a vibrancy about her even though she was sick and recovering.” He paused again, gathering his thoughts.

“Then her parents took her from the clinic. They didn’t believe in Western medicine and said we’d violated their rights.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Unfortunately, one of the side effects of the chloroquine is hallucinations, and because they’d only ever taken artemisinin, the family was scared when Ava started experiencing them. They accused us of poisoning their daughter, of witchcraft...” He swallowed hard.

Jessica wrapped her arms around him and nodded for him to continue.

“I tried talking to them, but they wouldn’t allow us to keep treating her. She got sick again and she came to us, begging for help. We couldn’t turn her away.” His hands shook in his lap and he clenched them tight. “Unfortunately, her hallucinations returned.” His mouth filled with saliva again and he swallowed several times. The image of that day returning clear in his mind. “One day as we were leaving the clinic, we saw her. Her parents had dumped her body outside the tent, there was a…bullet hole in her chest…with a note blaming us for her death.” He would never be able to fully erase that from his mind. From his conscience.

Jessica inhaled sharply. “I’m so sorry, Mitch. That had to be devastating.”

He nodded slowly, letting the emotions come back. No longer repressing them. No longer trying to forget. He needed this to process. “I’ve seen children die overseas, but this one got to me in a way no others had, because I knew we could save her. I knew she could have survived if we could have continued to treat her. She didn’t have to die. And the guilt I feel for going against her family’s wishes and having her instead die the way she did.” He choked on the lump in his throat, feeling the first tears burn in his eyes.

Next to him, he heard Jessica swallow hard. “It’s heartbreaking,” she said sadly. “But you were doing what you thought was right. The thing you were there to do—save these kids whenever possible. They wouldn’t even have a chance at survival without your team.”

He knew that. For every person they couldn’t save, there were hundreds that they did. Statistics didn’t help him sleep at night, though. Nor did distancing himself or keeping his emotions in check. He cared about the people he met and treated. He wouldn’t be a good doctor if he didn’t. But Ava had been special to all of them. “I’ve seen some terrible things, but parents allowing their child to die like that…for killing their child.” The horrors of the world no longer surprised him, but they still had a soul-crushing effect.

Jessica hugged him tighter.

He sighed. “My colleague who called yesterday, Maria. She was there, too. We found Ava together,” he said, feeling as though he needed to tell Jessica everything.

She nodded quietly.

“She was having a hard time dealing.” Maybe it was hearing Maria’s breakdown that had triggered him. Not being able to release those intense emotions himself and having them build to a breaking point.

“Understandably.”

He turned to face her and her sympathetic, caring gaze filled his chest with something other than pain. “Thank you, Jess.”

“Of course. I’m here anytime you want to talk,” she said.

He touched her cheek. “You’ve done more than you could ever know,” he said. And to say he wasn’t falling for her would be a lie. Now, he just needed to figure out what to do about that.


Jessica reached forward and turned off the holiday music in her delivery van an hour later. Somehow, the cheery music didn’t feel right that morning. The sights and sounds of the fast-approaching holidays were slightly overwhelming as they held new meaning for her that day. The season of joy and goodwill toward man. She’d always loved the holidays for the events and the family gatherings and the festive fun, but so many others didn’t get a chance to enjoy this time of year. War, sickness, and pain and suffering stole joy from so many every day of the year.

Jessica sighed as she turned into the lot behind her bakery. Mitch’s story that morning had her so conflicted inside. Her heart ached for him and his team and for that poor little girl who hadn’t been given a chance at a healthy, happy life. His story had terrified her and made her wonder if she could handle those harsh realities. If she could mentally and emotionally be strong enough to witness the things Mitch had.

But then, it also gave her a sense of humanitarianism so strong that as soon as she entered the bakery she opened her laptop on the counter and logged onto the Doctors Without Borders website. She still didn’t know what she’d do with them, but she could at least research the application process.

The site for volunteers reiterated all of the need for assistance that Mitch had vocalized. She didn’t need to be a doctor or nurse, just someone willing to help. She read through various available positions and spent a long time reading testimonials from other participants who’d had their lives changed by the experience.

An hour later, she’d filled out the volunteer form application and printed it. She stared at it, no closer to a decision but feeling as though she’d taken the first steps toward one. Hearing the door bell chime and customers entering, she took the form and carried it into the front. She opened the drawer under the cash register and placed it on top of the buyout offer from Not Just Desserts, then closed the drawer. That’s where it would stay for now until she was certain.

Then she smiled as she turned her attention to the family perusing the display case. “Hi, happy holidays,” she said.

Mitch’s story was never too far from her mind as she went to work that day.

Chapter Eighteen

The harbor was always pretty at night, but that evening it had an extra glow as Jessica strolled along the wooden boardwalk with Mitch. All of the docked boats in the marina were illuminated with Christmas lights and decorations as far along the coastline as she could see. The boat owners handed out eggnog and mulled wine to the adults and cookies to the kids. They were both quiet, and she sensed he was in as much of a pensive mood as she was. But she had been thrilled to get his text earlier that day suggesting they do this. It was one of her favorite holiday activities, and enjoying it with him was even better.

“Now, this I remember,” Mitch said, squeezing her hand as they reached the first decorated boat.

A tingle ran the length of her arm. The simplest gesture from him set her pulse racing. Her attraction to him was off the charts, and keeping things casual and uncomplicated was becoming very complicated. Especially after his confiding in her and opening up that morning. His vulnerability had just given her yet another side of him to fall in love with. He’d trusted her with something deep and personal, and she valued that for the sign of the depth of their connection. “I was surprised you even knew about it,” she said.

“It was my dad’s favorite thing to do when we were kids. I figured they still did it.”

Jessica laughed. “That is a safe bet.” Not much changed in Blue Moon Bay. Traditions were sacred.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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