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“Tear it open!” her cousin said excitedly.

“Yeah, don’t save the wrapping,” Trent said, his arm draped around Whitney on the loveseat across from her. Her friend was home and feeling better that day, and Jessica knew that was the best gift any of them could have gotten that year. She was so grateful that Whitney was okay, and seeing the two of them together didn’t invoke any jealousy, just increased the dull longing for that kind of love and commitment in her own life.

Tearing through the candy-cane themed wrapping, Jessica took out an army-green, multi-purpose backpack with a sleeping bag and thermos attached. A compass and a housekey that she knew was meant for her aunt’s front door hung from the side. The tightness in her chest grew even thicker as she read the card.

For all your life’s adventures…May they always lead you home.

Adventures she’d decided not to take. She fought back new tears and swallowed the lump in her throat as she smiled at her aunt. “Thank you. I love it.”

Aunt Frankie beamed at her, pride and happiness on her face, and Jessica knew eventually she’d have to tell her aunt about changing her mind, but this wasn’t the right time. She sat back on the couch and tried to force thoughts of Mitch and Cambodia and Not Just Desserts out of her mind for one day with her friends and family to celebrate all the amazing things she did have in her life.

The things that three weeks ago she thought were enough.


December 26th…Cambodia

They were at least in a different camp this time.

The tents lined up along the dirt ground, already set up by volunteers, and the sights and sounds of the hustle around establishing a new site they’d call home for the next three months usually gave him a sense of comfort. This was what he knew. This was the environment he thrived in. Living with few amenities and hard laborious days were what made him feel alive.

He waited for that feeling to rush back.

Anything to distract him from the thoughts of Jessica and Blue Moon Bay. Thoughts that had never before plagued him. He was themoving onguy. He didn’t want to be in one place for too long. But he couldn’t deny the pang in his chest whenever he thought about what he might be missing out on, back in his small hometown.

He needed to roll up his sleeves and get busy. Work wouldn’t leave any opportunity to ponder decisions already made.

He headed into his personal tent at the end of the long row and dropped his bag onto the tiny cot that he’d maybe get four hours of sleep on a night. He set up his laptop on the tiny makeshift desk and hooked everything up to the generators and servers that would power his equipment for the duration.

His cell phone had been searching for service since he’d landed, and the farther inland they’d driven, away from civilization, he’d lost hope of it finding one.

“Hey…didn’t see you on the flight,” a female voice said from the doorway of the tent.

He turned to see Maria standing there, dressed in tan shorts and a white tank top, her hiking boots on her feet and a light scarf around her neck. She too was a familiar sight that should have had him feeling like he was back where he belonged, but seeing her only made him more anxious. Remembering her desperate call the week before and the softness in her tone when she’d made him promise to come had his pulse racing.

What was she expecting? From him? From them?

They’d never defined what they were doing, so he’d assumed it was nothing. Casual friendship with the side benefits of limited options and mutual stress relief through a physical connection. They didn’t even really talk or stay in touch between postings.

“How are you?” he said, walking toward her for the customary hug in greeting.

She held a little too tight and too long. “Good to see you. Did you enjoy the time off?”

He nodded. More than he could ever tell her. “It was what I needed, I think. How are you doing?” he asked again. He needed to know where her head was. For more reasons than just his fear that she might be clinging to him and their connection in a different way now.

She sighed, her chest rising and falling. “I’m better. I’m sorry I was such a mess when I called you that day. I thought I’d been doing fine, then all of a sudden it just hit me,” she said, lifting her short blond hair away from her neck and fastening it into her usual ponytail.

“I get it. I had a similar experience. But you’re good? You’re okay being here?” Meltdowns from stress were to be expected, but their safety and that of the team required them all to be mentally capable of the challenges they were going to face in the coming months.

She nodded. “I’m good, Mitch.” She paused, staring at her hands, and his heart raced.

Oh shit. There was that look. The “we need to talk” look. Should he tell her about Jess? Should he say something first to save her any embarrassment when he said they couldn’t be the way they were? Things had changed for him. He couldn’t be with anyone else but Jess…

“So, I met someone,” she said quickly. Her gaze, when it met his, was apologetic, nervous. She wrung her hands together in the way she always did when she had to tell someone bad news. “On the plane heading over here. He’s a volunteer and we hit it off like wildfire…”

Mitch blinked. “He’s here?”

She nodded quickly. “I’m sorry…I know we…”

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