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“Who’s watching the bar?”
“Closed today.”
“It’s Friday, Trent. Everyone expects the bar to be open…”
“I expected to get married and have a shitload of kids with the woman I love more than life itself. No one gets everything they want,” he said, sitting back on the stool.
“Fair enough,” his cousin said, reaching across and touching his hand. “Fair enough.”
…
Throwing herself back into the pile of emails in her inbox was the only way Whitney was going to survive the day. She’d emailed Mayor Rodale and said she’d be working from home that day to avoid distractions as she finalized the New Year’s calendar. Truth was, there was no way she could hide the deep sorrow she was feeling, and she knew if anyone asked if she was okay, she’d probably collapse into a sobbing mess.
Avoiding people right now was her only option. She could break down in the privacy of her own home when the tidal waves of despair hit—like when she saw his clothes hanging in the closet and realized he’d have to come get them, that soon the closet would be half empty. Or when she saw his favorite coffee mug in the sink, one she couldn’t yet bring herself to wash. Or when she smelled the scent of him lingering on his pillow. She’d be sleeping on the couch until she was sure that smell had faded.
For months, she’d been struggling with the knowledge that she either needed to find a way to fix herself or she had to end the relationship with Trent. She couldn’t follow through with a future with him when the plans they’d had for the future had changed for her and he was unaware. The day before, the decision had been forced to be made, and it was done. She’d broken it off. It was the only thing she could do. She should have had the strength to do it months ago when she discovered her illness would likely prevent her from having children and could affect her ability to raise them if she was sick or her vision couldn’t be trusted... She knew her illness was getting worse all the time, and she was terrified of what that meant for her future. Her self-preservation had her moving away from wanting kids because she felt that wasn’t an option. It wasn’t fair to Trent to keep him waiting on forever any longer.
Her mother always said decisions were the hardest in the moments leading up to them, but once made, it felt like a weight was lifted. That wasn’t the case this time.
She’d had to fight every urge to go after Trent as he’d driven away. Reaching out to him would only make everything worse. She needed to give them both space and time to let this seep in. The fact that seven years together had ended.
Even if the love she had for him hadn’t.
He’d paid her mother’s medical bill for the year. The incredibly generous gesture was something she was still trying to reconcile. She knew he loved her and supported her, had always wanted to do more than she’d allow him to, but it wasn’t until he’d actually gone and made such a huge commitment to her—to them—that she realized she couldn’t be with him if she couldn’t hold up her end of the bargain, doing the same for him, giving him the family he wanted.
Though she desperately wanted to.
That fact hadn’t been so apparent until it was truly gone.
Work. Focus on work.
It was all she had left…
She forced a deep breath and opened her email from theRace Across Americashow executives requesting several release forms to be completed and signed. She clicked on the DocuSign link, but the forms said “completed.” Scrolling through more recent emails, she saw the finalized copies. With Scott’s signature on them. She sighed, annoyance flowing through her.
Good. She’d cling to the feeling. Any other emotion would do.
Since overhearing Scott and his mother talking in her office a few days before, she hadn’t been approached by anyone to fill her in on any new chain of command at the office. She hadn’t been demoted yet… It was almost worse that they weren’t telling her the plan to advance Scott. As though she didn’t have a right to know or be given an opportunity to prove she was still the right person for that position.
All of a sudden, it seemed she was losing everything that was important to her. Air trapped in her chest, and she rubbed the spot, feeling her collarbone protruding even more.
Trent was gone. Her career was at stake. And her health was deteriorating faster every day that she put off the tests and treatment. And she had no one to blame but herself. Her stubborn independence, something she’d once thought of as a strength, had been her downfall, her greatest weakness.
Her phone chimed with a message, and seeing Jess’s name on the display, her stomach twisted. Had Trent told his cousin about them? She didn’t know for sure where he’d gone the night before. When he hadn’t returned all night, she suspected he’d slept at the bar on the old cot he’d set up in there for late nights if he was too tired to drive home.
Where would he go now? Where would he live?
The house was in her name. She’d been adamant about not purchasing a new place together until they were married. She’d been so damn adamant about everything, and now none of it seemed to matter. Why had she been so stupid? Why hadn’t she been able to let go and trust and accept the help and support from someone who loved her more than anyone else ever had?
Picking up the phone, she read the message from Jess:
I love you and I’m here when you want to talk.
Whitney sat back and rubbed her aching forehead.
What did this mean for all of them now? She and Trent had the same friends, same community. They’d been a unit for so long. Could people see them as individuals now? Apart? Could their friends reconcile this? Or would things be awkward and tense?
In most breakups, there was a divide.
