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But her not wanting him to be there for her during the hardest part of her life made things that much more real. She really didn’t want a future with him, and he knew she was pushing him away, had ended things because of her illness, but he wasn’t sure what he could do to try to change her mind.
He should have tried harder at the hospital to force her to let him be there, but seeing her so tired and sick, asking him to leave, he hadn’t been able to add to her pain.
He shook his head. “That won’t help.” Staying busy at least allowed him to stop focusing solely on the what-ifs plaguing him.
What if they didn’t find a match? What if she didn’t get better? He’d lost her a week ago. But what if hereallylost her?
He couldn’t even think about that.
“You know, I think I will head out,” he said, grabbing his jacket from the hook and tossing the bar keys to Max. “Lock up?”
“You got it,” Max said. “Take care, man.”
Outside, he climbed into his Jeep and drove across town to his family home. It was the only place he’d find any comfort right now. His mom knew everything, and therefore she was the only person he could truly talk to. Or sit in conflicted silence with.
Going inside, he found his mom in the kitchen. Plastic Tupperware containers filled the counter space, and several pots were simmering on the stove. The smell of roast and pasta and stew all mixing together. This was what she did when she was worried: She cooked. And by the looks of the recipes, she was as worried as he was.
“Hey, Mom,” he said, slumping onto a stool at the counter. His shoulders sagged, and every muscle in his body ached with tension.
“How is she?” Frankie asked, turning to face him as she stirred a pot.
“Same. They’re still waiting to find a match.”
“I got tested the other day,” she said. “I wanted to go see her while I was there, but I wasn’t sure…” Her voice trailed, sounding sad.
He nodded his understanding. This couldn’t be easy on his mom, who loved Whitney like a daughter. They were all navigating this with confusion and sadness and no freaking idea how to proceed. What was the right protocol to follow in an emergency situation after a breakup?
“Jess is keeping me posted,” he said. “Whitney doesn’t want me there.” He ran a hand through his hair, then rested his elbows on the counter, clenching his shaky hands together.
His mother sent him a sympathetic look. “This has to be torture on you. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not at the shop.” She gestured to the cooking.
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to survive. I don’t know what to do. I want to barge into that hospital room and insist to be there next to her through this whole thing, but I know that will only make things worse. I want to respect her wishes, but it’s so damn hard.” Whitney was strong and independent, and he knew she’d never lean on him right now.
“You look exhausted,” his mother said. “Why don’t you go lie down in the living room, and I’ll bring you something to eat.”
Trent wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep, and he certainly didn’t have an appetite, but he nodded and headed into the living room.
When he did finally doze off, his dreams were all about Whitney.
…
As promised, Lia, Sarah, and Jess hadn’t left her side in two days. Normally, having them there, feeling vulnerable and needy, would have irritated her, but this time, Whitney was truly terrified, and she appreciated the love and support surrounding her.
Everyone she knew in town had gotten tested over the last few days. Even Trent, which made her even more conflicted. She missed him so much, craved the sight of him, the sound of his voice, his reassuring embrace... It physically hurt to think about him, so she tried to push him to the back of her mind as much as possible. Right now, she needed to focus on her health and use her strength to try to get through the next few weeks.
All she could do was hope. Which made her feel bad. If one of her friends was a match, they’d be going in for the procedure of the bone marrow transfer. She’d heard the process was much harder on the donor than it was for the recipient. The idea of putting any of them through that upset her, but she didn’t have a choice. Her own research into the state of her condition had revealed that without the transfer, she would only continue to get sicker, and eventually she would die.
She scanned the hospital room now. Jess slept in a chair, Sarah was curled in a ball at the foot of her bed, and Lia was sitting on the window ledge, her gaze somewhere out the window. She glanced her way, and seeing her awake, Lia got up and approached. “Hey, need anything?”
Whitney shook her head. “You three being here is more than enough.”
Lia gave a small smile. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be…except maybe on a girls’ trip to Maui.”
Whitney laughed, grateful that Lia was there. The other two were great sources of support, but Lia helped to keep the atmosphere light, despite the fact that she knew Lia was just as worried as everyone else.
“I promise, if I make it out of this bed, a girls’ trip to Maui is on the immediate agenda.” She meant it. No more prioritizing work above all else. No more skipped holidays and vacations for the sake of her career. Yes, she needed to be financially stable, but there was more to life. She deeply regretted that it had taken this to make her realize it. If she thought of all the things she’d missed out on and could potentially miss in the future, it was hard to breathe. She’d just focus on how she would approach things moving forward.
“Whenyou get out of this bed.Not if,” Lia said. “We’re going to figure this out.” She sounded determined despite a hint of lack of confidence.
