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I throw my arms wide and glance around the area. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m teaching a bunch of pussies how to fight.”
My friend stares at me, worry etched deep into his face. “Is she worth this?”
Without hesitation, I answer, “Yes. She’s worth every drop of blood on this fucking planet.” Intense heartache bursts through me like wildfire, destroying my sanity as it burns. I shake my head and stagger a step back. “She’s worth everything.” I suck in desperate breaths of air, then look to Luca for help. “I’m not going to survive without Rosalie. Christ, Luca, I love her. I can’t face a day without her.”
He wraps his arms around me and holds me in a tight grip as I struggle to breathe. “We’ll get through this.”
No, I won’t.
A life without Rosalie is unimaginable.
Who would’ve thought a girl with soft brown eyes would be the end of me?
I’ve fought wars and killed hundreds, and all it took was a woman to bring me to my knees.
Chapter 19
Rosalie
My first three days in New York, I stayed at a hotel until I found a studio apartment on top of a Sicilian restaurant. It’s in the old neighborhood where I used to live with my family, and it won’t take a huge chunk out of the money Viktor gave me. With the low rent, I’ll be able to stretch the funds for eight months.
I’m not going to lie. I’m scared out of my mind being on my own for the first time in my life.
At least you’re surrounded by a Sicilian community. You just need time to adjust.
I came to New York because it’s the last place that felt like home. It’s where I spent most of my life before my father died, and we started moving from city to city.
But it doesn’t feel like home anymore because I have no family here. Coming back here has only intensified the grief because I see familiar places I used to go to with my family. Especially Central Park, where I used to accompany my grandfather for walks on Sundays. He’d tell me stories of when he was young, and we’d easily spend two hours in the park.
The house we used to live in is run down, and the flowers I planted are all gone. There used to be a big tree in the front yard where my dad and Uncle Ricco built me a treehouse, but that’s gone too.
I’ve lost so much since I left New York. It was stupid of me to think things would magically get better once I returned.
After fruitlessly searching for a job all day long, I return to my apartment. It was already furnished when I signed the lease. That’s a relief, at least, and it will do until I can afford something better.
I shut the front door behind me and lock the three bolts in place that took me hours to install. Slumping down on the couch, I kick off my sneakers and let out a tired sigh.
I only sit for a few minutes before the intense heartache hits, and I burst into tears. Lying down on the couch, I curl into a bundle and ride out the wave of pain that comes in waves.
I miss playing with Luna and having her sleep next to me.
I miss hearing Viktor come home and nag me to join him for dinner. I miss his scent, the way he walks, the intense look in his eyes, and his strong arms.
God, I miss them so much.
Sniffling, I swallow back the tears and pull the phone Viktor gave me from my pocket. I open the messenger app, and when I see Viktor still hasn’t read the text I sent to say I arrived safely, my heart breaks more.
What did you expect, Rosalie? You told the man to let you go, and that’s what he’s doing.
I didn’t think it would be this hard, though. Just a simple text from him saying ‘okay’ or even a thumbs up would make me feel better.
Geez, four days, and you’re crumbling. You wanted this, so suck it up and start sorting out your emotions.
Getting up, I make myself a cup of coffee before I sit down at the kitchen table. I pull the notepad closer and look at the list of pros and cons I’ve made of my feelings for Viktor.
Under cons, I have Viktor taking part in killing my family, him kidnapping me, and the fact that he’s the head of the bratva and kills a lot of people.
Under pros, the list is endless. He was never violent with me. He provided for everything I needed and never expected anything in return. He didn’t force himself on me. He was kind and caring. He got me a puppy.
