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I’m supposed to be moving on by now. Time should’ve made me forget as Papa said, so why is the exact opposite happening?
There are no answers to my questions no matter how much I ask them. In fact, they become more complicated the more I do.
I click on Remi’s profile and scroll through the other posts.
Creighton recently went back to school, as in, about a week ago, and Remi has been posting a selfie with him or catching him in the background daily.
I tap on a group picture and then go to Eli’s profile through it.
He unfollowed me and removed me as a follower, but at least he didn’t block me.
A jolt goes through me when I see the last picture he posted. Both Eli and Creighton stand half naked, the planes of their chests glistening with moisture and their hair damp.
A bandage covers a part of Creighton’s chest, where the bullet went in, and it takes everything in me not to choke on my sob.
Sauna day, sponsored by yours truly since I heard it’s good for recuperation. Welcome back, baby bro #BrothersTime #SleepingBeautyChroniclesResumingSoon
I take a screenshot of the picture, crop Eli out, and add it to the collection I’ve been keeping on my phone.
Then I fall asleep staring at them with tears in my eyes.
* * *
The next day,I’m ready to volunteer at the shelter.
“You don’t have to go all the time, Anni,” Mom tells me when we’re stepping out of the house.
“I don’t mind.” I check my bag and make sure my phone is in there.
She clutches me by the shoulder and kind of forces me to stare up at her. “Do you need anything?”
“Nope, I’m cool.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. How about we have girls’ night later and then I’ll sleep beside you?”
Mom hugged me to sleep the first few nights after I came home. She didn’t tell me this, but she I figured she was scared shitless that I would do something to hurt myself.
Not going to lie, I did have those thoughts, especially after I kept having nightmares about all the red that surrounded Creighton. But that edge lessened as I received more updates about how well he was doing.
“Please don’t or Papa will hate me for daring to take his place.”
She beams and strokes my hair back. “Let me worry about your father. If you want me to keep you company, let me know.”
“Nah, I’m not a little girl anymore.” I can and will find a solution for my own problems.
My phone vibrates and I pull it out fast, thinking it’s a text from Remi. The name that appears on the screen makes me pause.
Cecily:How have you been, Anni?
My chest aches and a sudden influx of tears blurs my eyes.
After everything went down, I didn’t only lose Creighton, but I also had to let go of the friendships I thought I’d formed with Ava, Cecily, Glyndon, and Brandon.
They stopped talking to me, and rightfully so, considering they’ve known Creighton way longer than me.
