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“What’s so funny?” Rebecca asked, leaning in close over the music.
“I can’t even imagine Stu’s face if he saw me now.”
“Would you swap? Old life for new?” she asked, fluttering long fake lashes at me.
I pictured myself back in my old apartment, curled up on the sofa in front of the TV, psyching myself up for the weekly, lights-off sex session.
“You know what?” I said. “I’m not so sure I would.”
***
I relaxed into the ambience of the pounding tunes and the theatrics. Hair and make-up I’d never seen before, Mohicans and back-combing, and crimping and undercuts. Piercings and extensions and white, white faces. Rebecca disappeared to the bar to catch up with friends and Cara sidled a little closer, pulling me to her by my elbow.
“What do you think?”
I nodded. “It’s pretty cool.”
“We love it here,” she smiled. “Are you a sub, too?”
I felt the first blooms of a flush. “No... well... I don’t know...”
“Never tried?”
“My ex wouldn’t have been up for it...”
“You got stuck with vanilla, hey? SUCKS!”
I turned to her, wine-confident and curious. “How long have you been into this stuff?”
“About six months serious. I met Raven in here, and she took me to Explicit. She introduced me to the scene.”
“Explicit?”
“Our scene club in Soho. We go every week.” Her eyes shone full of enthusiasm, and mischief. “You should come! You HAVE to! You can see for yourself!”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I laughed. “What is it? Some kind of sex club?”
“A BDSM club, and yeah, people have sex, you know, but it’s not creepy or anything, I promise, nobody’s going to hit on you if you don’t want it. Come on! Say you’ll come!”
I remained non-committal. “Why do you do it? The pain thing I mean.”
“Endorphins... adrenaline... fear... trust... the pleasure in letting go... submitting totally to another person. There’s nothing else in the world... just you... and them. It’s hard to explain. The right dom will know you better than you know yourself, like a God, playing you right on the edge, in the beautiful part of pain. There’s this rush, when it hurts, and then a peace. It’s so beautiful.” Her eyes glazed over as she spoke, disappearing into another world. “Sorry, I’m probably making no sense. You’d have to try it to understand.”
It made more sense than I’d like it to. Spidery itches and razorblade kisses. I took another swig of wine. “So Raven’s your dominant?”
“She’s my mistress, yeah. There are a few others in Explicit I play with, but I belong to her.”
Rebecca appeared behind Cara, wrapping her in possessive arms, and I watched transfixed as Cara turned to her, opening her mouth to welcome Rebecca’s tongue. Their kiss was deep and wet, the dominant woman yanking Cara’s hair until she melted to her touch, her back arching as Rebecca claimed more and more of her.
“Good girl, Cara,” Rebecca purred. “I’ll think you’ll get the paddle this evening, make your pretty little ass all pink for me.”
“Thank you, Mistress,” Cara smiled. “I was just telling Cat about Explicit. She should come.”
“I’m not sure Explicit is Cat’s scene,” Rebecca said. I caught the reluctance in her eyes.
“She won’t know if she doesn’t try.”
“Enough now, Cara. Know your manners.”
