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“I don’t run. I just never want to see them again. He’s different.”

“Of course he’s fucking different!” Chelsea snapped. “He’sJason Redfern. You can’t be with him, Gemma.Chatline chubby snares football hunk, read all about it.The papers will tear you a new asshole, they’ll rip you to pieces!”

I had a pretty good idea what that would feel like... “Well, I guess I should message him, then. Tell him I know I’m too fat and ugly, now that I know he’s a Premier League superstar. Maybe I could set you up? Get him round here for a candlelight meal, just you and him. Maybe you can bag him this time. Maybe he’ll realise he really does need a new footballer’s wife.”

Chelsea’s eyes flew wide. “Are you being serious?”

Tessa slapped her arm. “Of course she’s not being serious! Jesus, will you stop being such a bitch?”

“I’m not being a bitch. I’m hurt,” she said. “Betrayed and humiliated.”

“How the fuck can you feel betrayed?” I said. “Nobody did anything to you.”

“It hurts, Gemma! You’re standing on my dreams!”

“You’re welcome to them,” I hissed. “I don’t want them! I just want the man I’ve been seeing, without all the celebrity shit that comes along with him.”

“You’re fucked, then!” Chelsea said. “You’ll just have to call the whole thing off and find some other pervert to play dress-up games with you.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? That’s so typical of you, Chelsea, you’ve always been the same.”

“Time out!” Tessa snapped. “We’re supposed to be on the same fucking team here, no pun intended.”

Both Chelsea and I rolled our eyes. I took out my phone, contemplated sending a message before I realised I hadn’t a clue what to say. I was aching, sore, tired and reeling. My hands were shaking around my coffee mug, head spinning.

“I’m going to bed,” I said. “I need some sleep.”

“It’s not even teatime,” Chelsea said. “We haven’t sorted any of this crap out.”

“There’s nothing to sort out. It’s my crap, I’ll deal with it.”

“And call it off? With him?” Her mouth pursed in that mean little line again.

Thoughts piled in. Thoughts of cameras, and journalists, and a sea full of bitches like the ones in the queue at Kings. Bitches like Chelsea. Bitches like his wife, most likely. Hiswife.

An impossible, stupid fantasy. An impossible situation.

But it hurt. Oh, God, it hurt.

“What choice do I have?” I snapped, battling back tears behind the anger. “Like you said, I couldn’t possibly be with someone like him, and even if I could, I’m not you, Chelsea, I don’t want that shit. I don’t want any of it!”

I lay on my bed, rooting around my brain for sensible Gemma. The Gemma who doesn’t get emotionally involved and definitely doesn’t want a relationship. If she was in there she was hiding, crouched amongst the beautifully filthy memories of my time with my Jason. I couldn’t shake them off, couldn’t shakehimoff. I rolled over to grab my laptop. Maybe Google would help bring sensible Gemma back.

Jason Redfernnews. I pressed Enter.

Liverpool win sees Redfern all set for another season.

Redfern tops the polls as England’s favourite defender.

Victory for Redferns as cheating lies come to light.

April Redfern wears Armani. Shrugs off cheating rumours.

A decade of April and Jason. Why England is Redfern crazy.

Iwas fucking Redfern crazy.

April Redfern was gorgeous. Ridiculously gorgeous, in fact. She smiled out from every article, a shining beacon of perfect teeth and perfect hair. A perfect body, too. Chelsea had a point, what did a guy like him see in someone like me?

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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