Page 79 of They Call Me Teddy


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“Mia,” I say fiercely, “You have to. You can’t—”

She stops me with a touch.

“I can’t live without you,” she says in a whisper. “I can’t, and I won’t. If you die, I die with you.”

“Mia…”

“Maybe we can still make it,” she says, rubbing her face again. Even with racoon eyes, she’s still so fucking beautiful. “Maybe we can and if not, I’d rather go out in a hail of bullets with you than spend even a minute of my life without you.”

“Mia,” my voice cracks and I pull her harshly to my chest, both of us squeezing like we’ll never let go. And I suppose we won’t.

We move automatically to fill our guns, ignoring the sounds building in the parking lot behind us. The longer we wait, the more the cops have time to get ready, but we don’t hurry or even speak. Mia hasn’t really stopped crying, or rather, she’s not actively crying so much as unable to stop the tears from flowing. I’d try to convince her this is a stupid idea again, but I don’t have the fight in me. It’s probably too late now, and she’d never listen.

For her entire life, Mia’s always done what she wanted. Her mother couldn’t stop her, Jane couldn’t, and neither can I. As much as I’ve tried to dominate, to control her, I know the truth now. She is—always has and will be—Teddy, and from now until my last breath, she will own me, heart and soul.

I pause in my actions and put a hand to her arm. She stops and looks up at me, her expression fierce despite the tears trailing down her face. I can't help it and let out a laugh, a real, honest-to-god laugh.

“What?” she asks, perplexed.

“Just you,” I say through the laughter, reaching out to take her face in my hands and bring it to mine. “You are fucking incredible and I love you.”

She pulls back still confused but doesn’t take her head from my hands, instead placing her forehead to mine.

“I love you too,” she says, her voice a hoarse whisper.

“I don’t regret any of it.”

She smiles, her hand finally coming up to cover mine. “Me either.”

With my arm tied to my torso and a gun each, we stand and look at each other.

“This is it,” she says, a quiver in her voice.

“You don’t have to do this,” I tell her, and she smiles, sad and pure.

“Yes, I do.”

I don’t hear the words on the bullhorn as we open the door and step out. From our second-floor vantage we look down at the dozens of police spread over the area, guns all pointed at us. It is all so loud, but none of it registers. I turn to Mia, and in her eyes, I see the apology within. Her smile grows and I know she sees the forgiveness and love echoed back in mine.

She raises her pistol and starts to shoot, and I can’t help but stand and watch the passion and chaos play out on her face. She throws her head back and laughs as the cops scramble away and I can’t help but laugh too. She catches my eye briefly and any bit of uncertainty I had left drains out of me. This is how it was always supposed to be.

Teddy and me against the world.

I raise my own weapon and grin.

The sounds come back, but only gunshots. They seem distant.

The blackness is welcome.

???

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