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Smiling, she says, “No regrets?”
“None. Not one single regret.”
“Good for you.”
“Can I say one other thing that makes me feel like a monster?”
“Of course.”
“I so do not want to leave here and go back to single parenthood. I want to stay here forever while my parents raise my kids. I’m a horrible, awful mother.”
“No, you’re not. You’re my Yoda in widowhood and motherhood. I want to be you when I grow up.”
“Oh God, stop. Do not do what I do.”
“Sorry, too late. I want Dylan to be just like your wonderful Tyler, the sweetest boy ever.”
“He’s so sweet and such a huge help to me with the girls. I don’t know what I’d do without him, which makes me feel terrible because I rely on my seven-year-old to help me care for my younger kids.”
“He’s an old soul,” Roni says. “He loves taking care of them and watching over them. He takes that very seriously.”
“I know, but I still worry that it’s too much to put on the shoulders of such a young child.”
“Tyler would tell you if it was too much. You’d know. Instead, if you ask me, helping you care for them is his chief purpose in life.”
“His daddy would be so proud.”
“He sure would. He’d be proud of all of you.”
“I think a lot about how Mike talked me into having one more baby when I was content with having one of each. He kept saying, ‘We need one more, babe. One more to make us complete.’ It breaks my heart that she’ll have no memories of him.”
“She will, though. She’ll know him through you and Rob and the rest of your family and friends. She’ll know him, Iris.”
“I suppose. Speaking of Rob…”
“What about him?”
“I’m starting to worry that he’s going to be a problem.”
“How so?”
“It’s possible that his weekly visits aren’t just about spending time with the kids.”
“Ohhhhh. Well. Damn.”
“Yeah.” We turn around to go back to the house, with the wind now in our faces. “He’s been so good to us.”
“That doesn’t mean you owe him anything more than saying thank you.”
“I know, but I really hope it doesn’t come to me having to tell him it’s not going to happen. I so do not want to have that conversation with him.”
“Hopefully, you won’t have to.”
“He asked if he could stay at my house last night after seeing the kids at my parents’ house. I’m worried he’s going to be waiting for me when I get home.”
“Oy.”
“That about sums it up.”
