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“Is it possible she didn’t know he died?”
“I guess, but I doubt it. The crash was big news here and in Denver. Most of the other passengers were based there.”
“Something must’ve changed for her to have reached out so long after the fact,” he says. “Like maybe she was married, too, and that ended, so she’s making threats about lawsuits because she needs the money. Or maybe Mike promised to take care of her if anything ever happened, and when that never materialized, she decided to come after it. Could be anything.”
“I suppose I’m going to have to talk to her if I want answers to these questions.”
“Or you could let the lawyers handle it and stay away from her.”
“Her son is my children’s half brother.”
“They don’t need to ever know about him if you don’t want them to.”
“Mike’s family will want to know him. The baby is a connection to him.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “The thought of telling people who knew him about this is overwhelming.”
“Let Rob tell everyone else who matters. You don’t have to be the one who does it.”
“This’ll change the way people remember him.”
“That’s also not your fault.”
“I’ve been protective of his reputation and legacy. It was important to me that the kids see him as a man they could look up to and emulate.”
“That doesn’t have to change. I’m sure you’re teaching them that everyone makes mistakes, even parents.”
“Were we the mistake, though? Did he love her?”
“I hate that you’re torturing yourself with these questions. You know he loved you and the kids.”
“I was always so sure he did, even when he screwed up before. Never in my wildest dreams after that first time would I think he’d have had someone else—and a child with her. What rock was I living under that I missed that?”
“The nature of his job meant that he was away from you a lot. He probably took care of things with her when he wasn’t here.”
“Was he there when the baby was born? Where did I think he was that day?”
“You’ll drive yourself crazy with those questions.”
“I want the details.”
“Let me ask you this—what will it change if you have the details? Mike will still have had an affair and a child with her. Nothing you find out will change that fact of the matter, but the things you learn might hurt you more than you already are.”
“That’s true.” I shift so I can see his face. “What would you do if you were me?”
He gives my face a light caress that I feel everywhere. “I’d probably want all the dirty details, too, even if I knew I was better off not knowing.”
“I worry about not being able to care for my children properly. That’s always my greatest concern since I became a single parent.”
“Then you shouldn’t do anything that might make that job more difficult than it already is.”
“It’s amazing, isn’t it, how the most terrible thing to ever happen can get even worse after all this time?”
“You’re so much stronger than you were when it first happened. We all are. We got through something we would’ve thought impossible to survive. We’ve carried on with all the dignity and grace we could find, and you’ll continue to do so even now. I have so much faith in you.”
His words stir something in me that has nothing to do with grief or heartache and everything to do with the courage it takes to continue living when your life is upended. I move closer to him and press my lips to his, hoping he’ll kiss me back. He does. For a second. And then he stops.
“Iris, honey… You’re upset. I don’t want to take advantage.”
“You’re not. You’d be giving me something I want and need tonight. I need to feel like I’m still here, that I’m a survivor and not a victim. I’m all jumbled up, but the only thing I know for certain is I want to feel the way I did this weekend. With you.”
