Page 80 of Someone to Hold


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I look at the clock on my stove. “Three.”

“That is too damned long. Is your mom taking the kids?”

“She is, and they’re excited to see the new Pixar movie. Thank God for Grandma and Pop.”

“No kidding, right? I’ll see you soon. Bring me Miss Thang’s info and I’ll get this straightened out right quick. Don’t you worry. Go take a bubble bath and get ready for our big night out on the town.”

I can barely hear her over the screaming from the playroom, where the kids seem to be dismantling the house. My mom will be here in an hour to get them. There may be time for a bubble bath after that. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Love you,” Joy says, as she always does.

“Love you, too.”

We’ve learned from our losses to never let someone go without letting them know how we feel about them. My relationships with my widow friends are the deepest I’ve ever had with anyone, even Mike. As much as I loved him, we weren’t connected at a spiritual level like I am with my wids. There’s just something so bonding about the young-widow experience, which makes me feel guilty at times. I’d never want Mike to die, even knowing what I do now, but losing him has opened me up to a deeper, more meaningful way of living that I might never have experienced without my terrible loss.

And yeah, just thinking that inside my own mind makes me feel terrible. My kids need their dad more than I need the deep connections I’ve formed since his death.

I’m surprised I haven’t heard from Mike’s parents, who are back from Italy now, or Rob since I shared the news about Mike’s other child with Rob. I shoot him a text.Did you tell your parents about Mike’s other son?

He replies thirty minutes later when I’m helping the kids pack up for the overnight with their grandparents. I did.

And?

They’re shocked, of course. They want to meet him. Do you know how we can make that happen?

I’ll see what I can find out and let you know. The kids are going to my mom’s for the night and will be back tomorrow afternoon if you want to come by.

Not sure I’ll make it there this weekend. Will let you know.

I’m disappointed to hear that. He’s rarely missed a weekend visit with the kids since Mike died. Is he staying away because of me? Ugh, I hope not. My reply to him is one word:Ok.

Hopefully, he just needs a break from us to get past whatever he saw happening between me and him so he can get back to having a close rapport with the kids. I’m counting on him to be there for them, and I hope he doesn’t let us down. I don’t think he will. He’s been amazing since we lost Mike, but was that because he was hoping for something between us?

No, I decide, that’s not the case. He’s too great with the kids to have it be about that. He loves them, and they love him. He’ll be back when he’s ready.

Gage worked for hours on the model with Tyler during the week until it was painted with painstaking detail that delighted my little boy. Gage told him he couldn’t touch it until the paint dried, and even then, it’s not a toy. It’s something to look at. Tyler isn’t sure how he feels about looking at the model when he was planning to float it in the bathtub.

Gage texts at four, right after the kids leave with my mom.Be there by 5?

Sounds good. I’ll be ready.

It’s okay if you’re not.

That puts a smile on my face as I anticipate the night out with him and our friends.Are you text-flirting by any chance?

Maybe…

It’s working for me.

Excellent. BTW, I’m thinking about selling my company…

Wait. WHAT?

Yep.

Holy out of the blue, Batman.

Not so much. Been getting offers for a while. I think I might take the latest one.

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