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“Speak for yourself,” I snap.
There’s only one other person I’ve told, and even with her I had to bend the truth. But with him I won’t have to sugar coat the illegal parts, and I’ve got nothing to lose in answering him. Maybe after hearing the tale of the silly girl who believed the big bad wolf, he’ll realise there’s no hope I’ll actually stay here and repeat the same mistake.
His eyes stare over the rim of his glass, watching me, waiting for my answer. My mind goes back and forth, wrestling with the decision to take another trip down memory lane.
Screw it. I down the rest of my drink and let the alcohol lead the way. “Like I said. I was an idiot. I’m sure you noticed my dad isn’t the fondest of me.”
He grunts and nods, clearly not impressed with my father’s lacklustre shows of affection.
“So, we kept away from each other as much as possible. He only ever called me when he needed something. Like the day I met Sergei. He had asked me to take him to an…”
I pause about to say an appointment, but it’s been drilled into my head to keep family business secret, and knowing what that appointment was about, I pivot.
“Somewhere,” I lamely continue. “Anyway, on the way back he told me to take him to meet someone at a dodgy pastry shop. I waited out front and after an hour they both came out. That’s when I first met him.”
One encounter that changed everything. Ren doesn’t say a word, but watches me intently, his expression serious, as if he’s really listening to every single word spilling from my lips.
“After Sergei asked for an introduction, Dad had to agree.” I laugh softly, as I remember the annoyed look on his face. “He didn’t like to introduce me to many people. He thinks I embarrass him! Can you believe that?”
“Your dads a dick, so yeah,” he says with contempt in his voice, and there’s certainly no arguing from me.
It’s true.
“Well, dad got a call and left Sergei and I alone. He then tried to ask me out to dinner. I politely told him that I am repulsed by anyone that associates with dear old pops and that’s a hard no from me.”
Ren chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m sure he loved that.”
“Well, funny that. Apparently, he did. The next day, dad rocks up at my house. He never came over. Never! So, I was already in a state of shock. Then he hugs me! I nearly dropped dead right there.”
I wave my hands in the air as I get more and more animated. It’s funny when you’re looking back you see the red flags. But in the moment, the mixed up, attention starved daughter ate it all up.
“He then tells me that life is going to change. And that for the first time, he’s proud to be my father. I seriously thought he had dementia for a bit. But then he told me about the deal, about the proposal Sergei made and started harping on about my responsibility and blah blah blah. I agreed to dinner just to shut him up. And that’s it.”
“You agreed to marry him?” Ren’s voice is even and calm, but his eyes give him away. He’s not happy with the story.
“Not straight away. But between dad showering me with love, and Sergei pretending to be a decent human. I was so screwed up in the head, drunk from praise that I agreed after two weeks. Once I did, apparently there was no sense in not moving in with him. So, I did. And well, you know about that day. That’s it. That’s the story.”
Lie.
There is so much left that I’ll never tell him. So much that I don’t even want to remember, and as we stare at each other, silence soars between us. I have no idea what is going through his head, but there is one more thing I need to make clear.
“And that’s why there’s no shot in hell I’m doing the whole arranged marriage thing again.”
He doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink. Only stares at me, an intense expression twisting on his face. My cheeks start to warm under his unnerving stare, and I’m not sure if it’s from the alcohol or the silent tension between us.
“Because you think I’m like him?” he says, finally.
Do I? No.
That’s easy to answer, “I don’t. If you were, then you’d have handed me over without a second thought.”
That settles something inside him, and his shoulders relax a little.
“But…‘ I raise an index finger to let him know that I’m not finished. “That doesn’t mean you’re not another type of crazy. Besides, that’s not even the point right now.”
He raises a brow, a small smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Oh really? Then what is the point?”
“You don’t even want to get married!”
