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Joachim had thought it was funny to bring me here as his page, when I used to be Lysander’s. Teris had removed me from the house and taken me to the isle of dragon knights when Honor disappeared, because while there was no evidence against me, Joachim had been sure enough I was involved to strike me down.
I remembered all too well the guard’s boots dangling outside of Joachim’s castle. He'd been executed after Honor escaped on his watch.
But it had been me. I was the one who had let her loose.
“How much do you remember about that guard?” I wondered if she would remember me. I shouldn't have hinted, but I was selfish and stupid sometimes.
“It's all a haze,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “Was he killed for helping me?”
“Perhaps. But even if he was, it was the right thing to do.” They had been monsters, torturing a child to try to discover the location of Lysander and Amily’s hoard. “Whatever it cost him.”
I knew damned well what it had cost him, but Honor didn’t need to carry all the details. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and protect her, but I had to figure out what to say so she’d leave the past.
“Why did the Royals kill my parents? Why did my parents think they were friends?”
She sounded anguished.
“Honor,” I said helplessly. Then as tears spilled onto her cheeks, I wrapped her in my arms, unable to resist. She pressed her face against my shoulder, her arms circling my waist.
“Couldn't they see what Pend was? What Joachim was?”
“Sometimes we don't see people clearly.” She was shaking in my arms. Gods, I wished I could’ve gathered her in my arms like this when she was six years old, when it would’ve mattered. I wished I could’ve sheltered her from all her grief and pain.
Once, Lysander had stopped our horses to watch the sun rise as we were hunting. He must have been deep in his own thoughts, because as the sun stained the sky, he'd clapped me on the shoulder. “I'm glad to have you at my side, my boy, but I'm even more grateful you look out for my daughter.”
Those words had pierced right to my orphaned soul. It was one of the only times he'd called memy boy. He only ever used those words when he asked me to protect Honor.
He might have called memy boy, but he certainly wouldn't have wanted me for a son-in-law. How could I spit on his memory by falling in love with her?
Well, it was fine to love her. From a distance. It had to be, because I could do nothing to escape that love.
And as much as I wanted to keep her in my arms, she pulled away, wiping her eyes. She flashed me an embarrassed smile, trying to steady herself. “Is there a spell we can use to find the sword?”
“Joachim had other hoards,” I said. “We just need to track them down.”
She chewed her lower lip. “We don't have much time. Zehr is dying. I need to reverse the Scourge curse, or we might lose our chance forever.”
“We will find a way,” I promised her.
“And Joachim is out there somewhere,” she said. “What if he comes back here while we're gone? We’ll have to move Zehr someplace he'll be safe.”
“Talisyn can watch Zehr,” I said. “That way, if Joachim is stupid enough to come here, Talisyn can cage him in his own cell. And then we’ll ask Joachim where exactly he hid that sword.”
It was a logical plan. But a part of me doubted myself.
Did I just want to have Honor to myself?
* * *
Honorand I headed out later that day. I had kept tabs on all the Royals, as they became so accustomed to me that I blended into the furniture for them. I protected the Elders’ sons and trained them and taught them. At first, I was just trying to insert myself into their lives to serve Honor. But I had come to care for those boys deeply.
And so, I knew where else to hunt for Joachim’s most prized objects. I let Honor shadow travel us back to the Academy. She gave me a worried look, as if she thought I'd judged her for that skill, but I was amazed at everything she could do. I would’ve complimented her if everything between us hadn’t already felt too dangerous, too combustible.
She went with me to my office. I went to the secret compartment in my trunk and withdrew the maps I had hidden there as I slowly pieced together the Royals’ secrets.
“Do Branok and Lynx know who holds the true title of master spy?” Honor teased me.
“No, and they never will. You and I will keep this between us.”
