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“I won’t lie to you about what I’m doing,” she said. “I need Zehr alive. And he’s out of time.”
“No!” I screamed, but she was firmly fixed in the present moment; she wasn’t listening to me. “Honor, I’m alive! Because of you!”
Somehow, I knew it was true. My magic had been flooding away from me along with my life. But Honor wanted me alive, and I was pretty sure her magic was slipping back to me, sustaining me.
Damyn rushed toward her as she lifted the bone crown, but she was already stepping back into the shadows.
The world was silent, for now.
But the Scourge would come to pay homage to their new queen.
CHAPTER24
Honor
Damyn’s furious face—andTalisyn’s stricken one—faded into the darkness as I phased. But the memory of those faces stuck with me.
Maybe Damyn was right that I was a coward when it came to romantic conflict. As I surfaced in the forest, I drew a long breath and tried to calm my racing heart. I dreaded facing them more than I dreaded becoming the queen of the Scourge.
I had to save Zehr’s life. I knew that.
I was alone in the deep gloom of the forest. It felt eerily similar to the scene Zehr remembered. He had trekked through the dark with a hopeful heart, eager to see the father who had left him.
Would Zehr be alive when I returned to him? I’d been hoping, wildly and recklessly, the curse would release him once I bore the crown and he would live. When I pictured his still face, dread washed over me. He had been my enemy, he had put me through hell… he had fought for me. The world would be dull without him.
And if the Scourge killed him… would it kill me too when I broke the Scourge curse once and for all?
There was no one around to see my hands shake as I raised the crown to my head.
“I crown myself the queen of the Scourge,” I said. “I bind myself to the dark magic that keeps this kingdom alive.”
A sudden weight of memories washed over me: flickering scenes of Lysander and Zehr’s father shaking hands, of Amily laughing, of the first Scourge crawling toward their screaming families, of dragons’ wings beating and the villagers running toward them for protection.
Then it faded. I was alone in the forest.
Night had fallen, and the forest was pitch black. I wasn’t sure how long I’d stayed there. It was silent, as if all the animals had fled away from me, even the predators.
Pain throbbed against my skull. I reached up and found the bone crown on my brow, and when I tried to pull it away, I couldn’t.
I quickly spun some of my magic to hide it. I wasn’t trying to deceive my men now; I just didn’t want to hurt them with the sight of what I’d done.
It was time to go home again.
* * *
I wasafraid that I’d find Zehr dead. I stole toward his bed, afraid any errant footfall would alert Damyn and start a fire I wasn’t ready to face. From a distance, I couldn’t tell if there was any sign of life; he might’ve been deep asleep or… gone.
I rested my hand on his face. His skin was cool to the touch, but Zehr was always cold. He looked peaceful, like he never had in life, his red lips parted slightly, his skin pale in contrast to the black hair that tumbled over his forehead. The calm on his face made me think he was dead at first.
A wave of grief washed over me, so intense that I sank onto the side of the bed as my knees went out. I leaned over him, pressing my face to his unmoving chest. Gods, what was I going to do without him? He was a bastard and yet…
And yet some mad part of me longed for him.
When I felt the faintest rise of his chest, I straightened, not sure if it was just my imagination.
“Hello, Honor.” He was a whisper in the back of my mind, and when I turned to face him, he was slinking out of the shadows, his hands in his pockets and a smug smile written across his face. “I didn’t expect tears for me.”
I swiped at my face, surprised to realize tears had indeed spilled from the corners of my eyes. “I’m tired.”
