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"I know."
"He, uh, wait, what?" I continued not registering his words until a second or two later.
"I know. Is that what you wanted to tell me?"
"Kinda. I'm not giving him up, even if I'm with you, too," I said. Resolve to keep them both cemented inside of me, and I charged forward. "I know we talked about this before, but I can understand if you can't handle that, if it is too much. I know you deserve to have a one-on-one relationship, but you will never get that with me."
A grin spread across his face as he lifted his hands to my face and stepped closer. He looked way too happy for someone that was just told he would have to share me with Lex forever. He pressed his lips to mine to shut me up, and my heart swelled as he kissed me for all he was worth. With trembling hands, I ran them up his back, pulling him even closer to me. Heat radiated through my chest as love for him filled me. A weight had lifted from me, and when we broke apart, I sagged against him.
"So you're okay with that?" I whispered.
"Sammy, you can have a whole ass harem, and as long as I'm included, I'll be more than fine with it. I haven’t changed my mind."
"You're sure?"
His hands ran down to the back of my neck, and he dropped a kiss to my forehead. "Absolutely. Does this mean you are open to relationships now?"
"Something Lex said, it made sense. If I hold myself back from letting any of you love me now, you'll hurt more once I'm gone. The whole it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before. I wasn't looking at it that way."
"Remind me to thank him," he said as he brushed my hair away from my face. The love shining in his eyes rivaled the love I saw in Lex earlier. It was almost overwhelming for this confirmed bachelorette.
"Okay. But Rai, this doesn't mean that you get to throw yourself into dangerous situations. Because if I lose you, I will bring you back just so I can murder you again."
"Is that so?" he asked. A half smile lifted the corner of his mouth as he focused in on my lips.
"Of course, I know the son of Hades now. I'm sure he'd help me," I said flippantly before pressing my mouth to his, sealing it with a kiss.
After watching the sun fully rise, we headed back to my dorm, where I knew we'd be alone. I needed a quick shower and then some cuddle time with one of my guys. One. Of. My. Guys. That still felt strange to think. But it also made me feel lighter, like a heavy weight had disappeared from my chest, allowing me to reach for my happiness in whatever form it took.
We chatted about everything and nothing the entire way back. He was my comfort. As soon as we were back in my room, I pulled out lounging pants and a t-shirt.
"I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable." I motioned to the beanbag he slept on that one night. We would have to talk about that eventually, because the way he looked at the large seat, the more certain I was that he heard me masturbating to the thought of him.
"Yeah," he said as he flushed. He dragged his hand through his hair and then blew out a breath. "I'll be right here."
I made quick work of getting clean, although part of me didn't want to wash off the scent of Lex from my skin. The majority won, though, and I was smelling like my body wash and fancy shampoo in no time. Steam proceeded me from the room when I swung open the door. It flowed out like a billowing cloud, even with the fan on.
"You love your showers hot," Raiden murmured.
My pink skin could attest to his words as I crossed the floor. I sunk into the beanbag next to him and snuggled into his chest in a way I had only dreamed about in the past. Pinching myself, I hissed under my breath when it hurt.
"What was that?" He lifted an eyebrow as he looked at my arm where I had abused myself.
"Just checking," I said.
He tightened his arms around me. "Sammy, we have to talk. There is something I need to tell you."
Sitting up, I pushed my damp hair behind my ear. Rip the Band-Aid off. "I know you heard me masturbating that night. I couldn't help it. Having you so close, not being able to touch you, it was torture, and I was so wound up by the Demon Prince. I just needed relief." My face flushed as red as a tomato, I was sure.
A range of emotions ran across his face, too fast and fleeting for me to catch them all. He settled on curiosity. "Do you do that a lot? Get off at the thought of me?"
"Look, a girl needs to have something to think about," I said. My needs did not embarrass me, it was that he had known about it so long, and he said nothing.
He ran his finger over my cheek, down to my chin, and lifted my head to look up at him. "I have a confession." He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, and I could feel him smile. "I still have your blanket, because I made a mess of it after you fell asleep."
I could feel my eyebrows shoot up to inhabit my forehead as I pulled back from him. "You masturbated too?"
"Sammy, do you even know how long I've wanted you? Do you remember that day you came back from training?"
